Dodgy damp proofing on BBC1 8.30 tonight

[Codswallop]

A subject close to all our hearts, salesmen earning six-figure salaries lying to customers about exterior wallcoating.

[Andrew Gabriel]

Slightly disappointed with it. Next week it's plumbers...

[Matt]

I can guess the complaint already. "Some plumbing counter bloke sold me two combi's, an outdoor water heater that looks like it belongs in a shanty town, three mixing valves we now use as garden ornaments and a Surrey flange. Bit of a cheek really as we live in Essex, the "hot" water goes from freezing cold to that of the surface of the sun and back to freezing cold in less than 20 seconds, I'm continually having skin grafts and I have the local plastic surgeon on a permanent hotline. Look in what was once our nice airing cupboard, instead of being able to air my M&S knickers I have to look at pipework and wiring that looks like an oil refinery, the patio is full of that disgusting water heater and this plumbing counter bloke says the carpets will soon dry out and his house has just as many leaks"