I am interested whether any of the keen DIYers on the group have built or considered building a coffin. I like to think I have a few years left in me, but I thought it might be a good project, particularly considering the horrendous prices charged by undertakers for a simple wooden box, often with some appalling faux brass fitting, more worthy of a cheap kids football trophy. Any guidance on rules, regulations and other considerations would be gratefully received. It will have to go on my list of projects to be done, somewhere after, the window renovation, the pizza oven, the new bedroom cupboards, the additional bathroom etc. Regards Tim
On Wed, 19 Aug 2009 01:13:22 -0700 (PDT), Tim Decker had this to say:
I think there's a lot more than simply the wooden box. There's the cost of collecting the corpse, laying it out (perhaps embalming it), the shroud, transport, standing by during a service at a church and/or crematorium, negotiations with graveyard owners if the body's to be interred, and so on.
you could make the pizza oven "something to behold" and capable of taking a coffin? or permit your surviving nearests & dearests to fold your bones into an unusual shape to fit an equally unusually shaped coffin that would then fit into the pizza oven.....
The faux brass fittings are probably a cremation requirement. But if it's only going to go in the ground or up in smoke wouldn't your nearest and dearest prefer a nice bookcase as a memento?
Unless someone can do a last-minute assembly from flat panels, don't underestimate the storage space a coffin will take up. Unless you're very goth you probably don't want it doubling up as a sideboard until you need it.
You need a nameplate attached to the coffin. If for cremation, then a suitable base for rolling into the, um, flamey thing.
=A3410 for a Bamboo Eco Fair Trade coffin from NaturalEndings.co.uk
Or you can get a cardboard coffin printed to your design on a large format flatbed printer at creativecoffins.com
Gillman
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do chipboard coffin-only from =A375 or artificial oak veneer from =A3260. (recommended on the
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.uk site)
If you want cheap then many crematoria will accept a shroud or body bag on a plank again according to
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How about make one from the old bedroom cupboards and a DIY cremation in the pizza oven?
My advice is to seriously consider buying commercial. If you shop around, you don't have to pay the inflated prices. On-line is good too (Eco-coffins?), especially if you like wicker. This is what I used for my mother's, as it was sudden, unexpected and I had no time to build. Really you're either going to pre-build or buy-in, the only time coffins are built to order is for the comedically obese when there's no other way.
The Natural Death Handbook is a great book generally and is good on regulatory aspects here. Note that burial is fussy about materials and often benefits from prior discussion (they don't object to much, but do like to be consulted). Cremation is fussy about materials and also about fitting on the conveyor without jamming. Wicker etc. needs a couple of solid wood strips underneath, or else a plywood base.
Othewise build is a matter of pre-veneered plywood, glued and screwed with lots of inner bracing blocks, hidden under the lining. Solid wood trim is router or shaper-work moulding on the outside to hide the edges. You can build the lot in a day, but finishing takes longer. Painted black is easier (plain MDF), but you'll need spray gear to finish it quickly.
A good book on knots and some attractive cordage is an attractive alternative to handles. Wooden bridge blocks down the side, a length of shiny white cotton rope and some decorative stopper knots.
OH come on Andy - it's got to have the Angle Grinder somewhere, even if just for a talking point. They are after all the campaign medal of UK DIYers! Mind you it won't cremate I suppose and there may be some resistance for some reason from a burial authority.
I went to a Goth friend's funeral a while back. As they hadn't been allowed to cremate him wearing his new boots (NewRocks, huge and largely plastic) they had to sit on top of the coffin through the service.
Of course; but a few months ago IIRC the itemised cost of MIL's coffin - the cheapest on offer (and no, it wasn't me who chose it!) - was north of 400 quid. And just veneered chipboard or something. Total bill was IIRC 2400 quid, and I'm sure that had I produced a DIY coffin, then the
400 would not have been chargeable.
Especially for cremations, I don't know[1] why you can't just rent a coffin TBH, by far the most eco-friendly and economical route. You could have a flashy, polished outer which is used for the funeral, then when Hector the Rector presses the button at the service and the coffin slides away or the curtain closes, the crem staff out the back whip out the deceased, enclosed in a sealed body-bag or cardboard liner or something, and pop him/her into the oven. Outer goes back to the undertaker for the next punter.
David
[1] Could it be related to the exhorbitant purchase price of a coffin,I wonder?
Maybe there's scope for some sort of "Coffin SOS" TV programme, where they come in and trick out your shoddy coffin with all sorts of tat on a limited budget?
My cousin (Ex Co-Op hearse driver) suggests that this is the norm anyway. Many of the expensive versions are reclaimed by the undertakers and removed out of sight in the lower section of the hearse when they leave the premises. Being buried scuppers this idea completely.
Personally I'm gonna be buried a mile out at sea and have 100000 illegal immigrants dance on me grave... ;-)
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