Christmas Shopping Money Saving Tip

Seems like a good idea. Just make sure that you can miss all the barbecue parties when you get there.

Reply to
Capitol
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You'd normally spend the cost of a month's trip to OZ on Xmas presents and cards?

Now know where I've got it wrong all these years. ;-)

Reply to
Dave Plowman (News)

Ironically (in my case especially), you couldn't be much further from the truth Bill. ;-)

See, what seems to confuse some people is that not everyone considers everything everyone else does as fun, enjoyable or worthwhile / whatever.

Example. 'We' might be invited to a wedding, she would typically go and I generally don't (other than to drop her of if she requires). Now, it's actually more difficult (or it can be if you let it) to say 'No (thanks)' than to just go, because so many people don't understand what an 'invite' is. They seem to think it's some sort of warrant or order, that if invited you must go (for some strange reason)?

Now this must work both ways of course. If I ask someone if they would like to come with me to some show (engineering, car, motorbike, boat, archery etc) and they say 'no thanks' then that's it. I don't pressure them into going if that is their decision.

So, whilst I don't fall for all this social pressure bs, that doesn't make me a miserable person (I'm the opposite in fact) or 'antisocial'. I just often exercise my freedom to choose what I do because I can and that makes me ever happier (as it would).

Luckily (and possibly partly why she is) my Wife is perfectly happy with this deal. We are adults, have discussed it and in general it's only those who are so indoctrinated re what they things they (and therefore 'other people') 'must do' that make it difficult for her.

Wedding, funeral, Xmyth, Halloween, Fireworks night, party member: 'Hi, where's Tim? Mrs: Hi, he's not coming. Wpm: Oh, is he not feeling well or something? Mrs: No, he just doesn't really like ? Wpm: But didn't I just see him in the car? Mrs: Yes, but he just dropped me off because I asked him to and he's going back home to do some stuff in the workshop before picking me up later. Wpm: Oh ... erm ... but he makes us laugh ...

Now, ITRW, I *know* that many of the other people there (often the guys of the couples) don't actually want to be there either but they have been threatened by their partners that they will go and they will enjoy it.

I wouldn't want anyone at any event in my name that didn't want to be there (for whatever reason). Why would anyone want anyone to go though that?

So, where do you (personally) draw the line? Do you go to everything you are invited to? Do you also celibate Diwali, Hanukkah or Ramadan and if not, why not?

And this isn't aimed at just you of course, it's anyone who thinks they have the right to persecute (name call) anyone for not being exactly the same as them. ;-)

'What, you don't do , you miserable so_and_so ...'

Cheers, T i m

Reply to
T i m

I haven't brought a brithday or xmas present in the last 10 years, well other than an odd joke present. I send as few cards as possible, only one this year for my mum so far. It's not so much the cost but the time finding soemthing that's useful or won;t get throw away or put in teh draw the next day and forgotten.

Reply to
whisky-dave

Nah.

well if you choose to only enjoy life at xmas that's up to you, but if I choose I can do anything you can do at xmas on virtually any other day of the year except not get a train or bus on xmas day.

but you're only allowed to pull them over the christmas period is that it ? and you're only allowed to have a real fire between 25/12 to 01/0. Are you only allowed to eat chicken/turkey on those days too.

and you're only able to play the pogues during that week too ? I play what I want alsmost any day of the week as I do supping beer/wine/port. prefer ale though.

yuo can also watch The Great Escape anyday of the year yuop don;t have to wait until xmas. ;-)

Reply to
whisky-dave

Social mores ...

If you are miserable and no fun, they will be glad you are not there.

However, if you are fun and make them laugh (I assume not in derision), then you are regarded as selfish for not going there to entertain them !

Simon.

Reply to
sm_jamieson

;-)

And that's perfectly fine of course. 'Everyone to their own' etc.

Are you 'religious' OOI? (Genuine / serious question).

What, you only eat Turkey at that time of the year?

If I'm ever somewhere where they are on offer I rarely pick mine up. The hats are too small, the crackers rarely 'crack', the toys are usually a waste of our resources and the 'jokes' are (as they are designed to be) sadly corny and often 'childish'.

;-)

Hmmm ...

Ok.

Nothing wrong with that ... at any time of the year?

But not at any other time of the year? ;-(

We wouldn't be able to find them if we did that.

I'm not sure 'conifer' is a very good firewood (it spits and burns too quickly) and I'd prefer all these millions of trees carried on growing rather than found all over the neighbourhood 12 days later. ;-(

Nothing wrong with that. ;-)

So, OOI, do you really only do the things you mention at that time of the year? If 'yes', it is you (well, not you particularly etc) who I think are missing out. ;-)

If I see something that I know someone I am friends with / close to would like / need and I can afford it I get it and give it to them at that time, not just because of some questionable festive / celebration period. I'm guessing (hoping) you do the same (as well)?

If I fancy a turkey roast and it happens to be the 25th of November (or any other day of the year) then I do so. ;-)

If I fancy sitting round a fire and having a drink or singsong then that's what I will do (assuming others want to do the same of course ... I won't light a fire just for myself) ;-)

Re Xmyth ... I (we) really get frustrated that we can't just go and get our weekly shop without it taking much much longer while we queue behind people with trolleys stacked to the brim with enough food to last for 3 weeks (when the shops are open most of the same period) and especially when they run out of the basics (that they never do any other time of the year). Luckily we don't have to suffer the traffic (for the food shopping at least) as we walk to our local shops. ;-)

I also feel sorry for the shops ... who in the most part would rather have their workload spread out evenly throughout the year, not bunched into a few 'special occasions'.

So, like many we actually try to avoid the whole thing as much as possible (short of going away / abroad etc).

Cheers, T i m

Reply to
T i m

;-)

Playing our devils advocate for a second ... I am aware that some people can only get together at certain times of the year and Xmyth is one of them (some companies force people to take leave over that period etc).

So whilst 'they' could do all the things that have been mentioned at any time of the year, they can't do them as a group.

Now, if I'm with a group of people I've chosen to be with (so friends rather than family) we wouldn't be doing anything like that. ;-)

Now, whilst I get on well with all my (and her) family (never fallen out with any of them), none of them (except my Mum for obvious reasons possibly) are people I would especially want to be with over others who generally aren't 'family' and with whom I share something more / other than a family tree.

More realistically ... I have so much to do (or am supposed to be doing) I don't really have much time for friends or family and am quite happy with that (the Mrs and I are mates and get on with each other pretty well).

Cheers, T i m

Reply to
T i m

How refreshing to find that I'm not the only one who does this. I did surprise the missus by agreeing to attend a wedding next year in the Midlands. Conversation went beifly like this . We not staying in the Hotels your relatives recomend, Why not ? because looking on the map a canal passes at the back of the venue ' we can start a weeks holiday on a narrowboat, moor up for the reception and when it gets tedious I'll come back to the boat. If any of your rellies get annoying then I'll move off down the cut. That's what we are doing.

G.Harman

Reply to
damduck-egg

Seems so ...

True. Except some don't realise you may only be miserable and no fun

*because* you are there! That is something I have asked some on occasion. Do you really want me (or anyone) there if they are there against their will and are like a bear with a sore a$$? Some are selfish enough to say yes!

I think you have hit the nail on the head Simon.

A trick I used to use (for their benefit) was to say I was going to the (say) company BBQ and then just not turn up. What do they say .. 'It's easier to get forgiveness than permission ...'

And it really isn't always that easy (struggling with the dilemma with their disappointment versus my unhappiness). My niece was in tears over the phone when she couldn't persuade me to go to her wedding (it wasn't just her, I generally don't go to any of them and nearly didn't go to my own). ;-)

What I couldn't get to was the bottom of was exactly *why* she wanted me there (given my feelings about the whole charade). I think it was to simply complete her 'fantasy image' ... I would be missing from the 'family photos' (forever) etc. I did offer to supply her with a life size cardboard cut out of me (heaven forbid) to stand in place for the photos but apparently that wasn't enough. So, I took a car full there, walked some of the dogs for them and went home to carry on doing the things I enjoy doing (and that was basically doing anything than being at that sort of thing).

Maybe because I ran a disco for enough years where I provided the music for such events means I have done my share? ;-)

Now and in most cases I simply 'can't be bothered' with the whole thing. The getting ready, the getting there (I generally do most of the driving), the 'people', the noise (I suffer with tinnitus), the food (not what I want, when I want it or how I like it) and because I'm generally driving I can't numb the pain / boredom with alcohol. ;-(

Cheers, T i m

p.s. My Dad was often seen as being the 'life and soul' of many gatherings but as he got older (and iller) he started seeing it as you described, because he was 'good entertainment' *for them*, so didn't go to as many.

Reply to
T i m

And when you are an adult and with adults that perfectly reasonable.

My Mum understands why she won't get one from us. She also knows that we are also a phone call away if she ever heeds anything at ant time, day or night. (That didn't stop our daughter catch her climbing on the draining board to try to clean something ... at 85 .. ;-( How many times do we have to explain that looking after her after she hurts herself (and she does) will be much more inconvenient for us than doing whatever chores she needs doing. ;-(

And why people often go through the stages. First they try to buy each other something (of equal value, or that puts one of them in a difficult position), to exchanging cards with cash to saying 'you get yourself something for a tenner and I'll do the same'!

I think that's something you can easily see with Xmyth cards between the genders in offices. Open any blokes desk draw in the new year and you will see a collection of unopened Xmyth cards. The ladies generally open them at least and will often stand / pin them up. They are more caring / considerate etc. Many blokes just CBA (if you get them alone and ask them to answer honestly) but are often made / expected to go along with it all ... ;-)

The classic action of buying flowers or presents last minute from a petrol station come to mind. ;-)

Cheers, T i m

Reply to
T i m

Mate, we are not alone, not by a long chalk, if only more people had the balls to stand up for themselves. ;-(

My mates / family still ask me, just they now can predict what the answer will be. ;-)

Excellent! ;-)

You can (if you are imaginative enough) find such compromises for nearly all of the occasions. I've collected stuff from eBay / Freecycle whilst dropping my Mrs off at some event ... or just 'popped in to show my face' before having to 'pop off' to do something 'important'. ;-)

And sometimes that is all it takes, just to show your face for 5 mins to convince them you aren't shunning them (rather than just not being entertained by such events).

Personally, I would have thought being there for them 24/7 to do real world / important things, no questions asked would be enough but apparently not? ;-(

Cheers, T i m

Reply to
T i m

Actually, for many adults, a nice bunch of flowers or chocolates etc, might just be more appreciated than clothes or some 'toy' that never gets used.

Reply to
Dave Plowman (News)

Of course, but it wasn't the sentiment but the (lack of?) effort used in the process.

ie, 'Petrol Station flowers' aren't know for their quality or range. ;-)

Cheers, T i m

Reply to
T i m

If I was rich, I rather like the idea of hosting lavish parties and turning up for 5 minutes, then going home (or up to my private wing). Who can criticize you for not attending to your own party ? I'm sure there was a famous socialite that did just that. Simon.

Reply to
sm_jamieson

I assumed the OP were relatively old and retired as there was just two of them. Threr was no mention of going out carol signig with the kids or building snowmen just sitting in front of a real fire srinking eating and pulling crackers.

Sorry I thought they were a group of two.

I certainly wouldn;t choose xmas to go out for a meal with friends, as most places are booked up, expensive and overly crowded and you have to listen to crap xmas music.

if I want to be with people I don;t wait until xmas to see them. Went to a tpoyah gig bon sunday where I met up with friends that have travled over from Berlin. This saturday another friends band is planing so I'll be there, they are releasing their new CD, it's NOT a xmas CD either.

surely it's possible to arrnage things other than over the xmas holiday period. I tend to see less peole over xmas transport is out, it's usually cold and wet, as said teh resturants are crowded as are the pubs, for me it's the worse time of year for social things.

Reply to
whisky-dave

Well they might not let you back though, you could get back and find all the locks are changed. actually the basic idea of not doing Christmas, is what I've done for some time. I have a good excuse as I can not read or write xmas cards, nor see to do shopping for people. So I tellthem not to consider me, and I'll not consider them. its not scrooge, its just the way things are in the visual world for me. Brian

Reply to
Brian-Gaff

Hehe.

It's a shame we have to have excuses though isn't it Brian ... without being accused of being 'miserable'.

Nothing wrong with that. Most reasonable people (especially adults) don't actually care about any of it. Many go along with much of it because they don't have the balls to stand up and say 'why' or 'no thanks'.

It's the same in the same world for many sighted people as well.

Cheers, T i m

Reply to
T i m

Hehe.

Exactly, no one (not that some of would care if they did). ;-)

I'm sure many of them have done the exact same thing (and worse / better).

Cheers, T i m

Reply to
T i m

In message , T i m writes

Not seriously. I suppose I would describe myself as CoE (in Scotland!) and have been known to go to church, but I'm certainly not a fanatic.

Yes. Well, roasted, anyway.

Three of us describes two parents and our 14 year old son. We enjoy crackers. Daft, I know, but we do, anyway.

Yeah, I know. Trees up here are half the price of those down south.

Certainly!

Very rarely that all three of us sit together and watch a film, but, for example, year before last we watched all the Harry Potter films together, between 25/12 and 01/01

We have one cupboard into which everything Christmas related is stuffed. Decorations, unused cards, crackers etc.

You're right, it isn't. I burn it on top of glowing coal.

Absolutely not. We (parents) are now retired, and somehow it seems important to differentiate the days, otherwise every day could become the same. Hard to explain, but partly because before retiring, we ran a Post Office, and true days off were rare. The period leading up to

25/12 was hell, so we really enjoyed the break, and did as little as possible. Son, who is a typical 14 year old boy in so many ways, also loves Christmas from buying the tree through to dumping it outside in January. He would be heartbroken if we did any of those things without him.

Of course. I enjoy finding stuff I think others will like, and have already bought or ordered most of what son and wife will receive.

We had, and enjoyed, roast chicken last Sunday (chicken stir fry tonight!), but turkey at Christmas only, partly because a turkey is huge for three of us, and partly because having it just once a year makes it special.

Prior to meeting Wifey, I lived alone in a Victorian semi, and often lit the fire just for my benefit. Well, the cat, too.

Yes, we are right in the centre of the village, and buy as much as we can within walking distance. We're lucky - small Co-op, butcher, baker, grocer etc all within a few yards.

Well, we in the PO certainly would :-)

I was going to say we try to avoid the commercialism, but as we buy stuff, perhaps we don't. We certainly don't go mad, and most of the stuff we eat/drink would be in the house anyway. We'll buy a dessert wine, and Wifey will make a Christmas cake, but she makes other cakes all year round.

Cheers,

Reply to
News

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