Changing a lamp safely

[Mrs Beattie]

I was going to change a blown lightbulb in my living room, but after reading the instructions on the fitting it says I must be a qualified electrician.

Must I call in an electrician? It's quite dark in here now with only my reading lamp. It makes knitting quite difficult.

If I can do it myself, how do I choose the right bulb? Is it illegal to fit the old filament ones now? Do I have to get one of them LED things to stop global warfare?

What about ladders? I was just going to stand on a small chair, but apparently that isn't safe. I don't really want to buy a stepladder (do I need to go on a course to use one?) just for one bulb, but it might be cheaper than an electrician, unless he's good looking of course, maybe I can answer the door with not much on and get a discount.

[Tim Streater]

Find somewhere where they are guillotining people, and sit at the foot of that to do your knitting. You'll fit right in. Don't forget your bonnet.

[Phil L]

Stand in a bucket of cold water and make sure your hands are wet, make sure the switch is in the 'on' position and carefully smash the bulb with a steel rod without the use of goggles. You won't need the replacement.

[newshound]

Adam's your man

[Brian Gaff]

Yes, thoughts we have all had since little signs like, no user serviceable parts inside came along.

Was there not a joke about how many health and safety officers does it take to change a light bulb?

Brian

[ARW]

:-) :-)

I'll give you a 50% discount if you are Scottish AND a red head.

However I am not prepared to say what you will be getting 50% of.

[Lieutenant Scott]

I didn't think anyone liked redheads.

[Lieutenant Scott]

Does Adam like old women who knit?

[Lieutenant Scott]

The bucket of cold water won't help unless she routes it to earth somehow. If you use one of those earthing antistatic straps, be sure to remove the safety resistor.

[Jules Richardson]

I know someone who points out that you can't be a user of it if it's broken and can't be used, so taking it apart in order to repair it is then fair game.

[Jules Richardson]

Put all the plugs in your bath, sinks etc. and turn the taps on. When the water level rises in your living room as a result, you can use a small boat and reach the bulb - no need for a ladder.

[Frank Erskine]

Bloody Morrisons are selling loud fireworks at half price. My dog has been paranoid for a fortnight or so, every night, on account of loud fireworks a mile or so away. Wasn't there some legislation proposed regarding public sale of loud "bangers"?

[Nthkentman]

:-) :-)

I'll give you a 50% discount if you are Scottish AND a red head.

However I am not prepared to say what you will be getting 50% of.

That'd make interesting reading in the local rag....

Retired Scottish redheaded widow dies after being impaled on an inch of hot rod. It is suspected the 50% discount on the charge she asked for was paid in kind and she dies from asphyxiation during laughing so hard.

[polygonum]

Can't see anyone doing anything about it except in the most extreme cases - whatever the legislation.

I used to quite like the big display done by Round Table where I lived. Seemed to satisfy most people and was far more spectacular than anything you can buy from a shop. But now, I find them boring and annoying.

As a kid we used to play with bangers - but after a friend had one shoved up his shirt, that burn was enough to turn me away from careless playing.

[The Medway Handyman]

Excellent!

We may joke about it, but changing lamps is a regular job for me. This very week - Tues PM & Thurs AM - I shall be getting paid to do just that on a local business park.

[Dave Liquorice]

Don't watch Dr Who then...

[newshound]

And that's not so unreasonable any more. There is such a very wide variety of lampholders, plus all the different fittings which have to be opened in all sorts of different ways. It's often not even obvious whether they are screw or bayonet.

[Lieutenant Scott]

Apart from her.

[Lieutenant Scott]

HA!

[Lieutenant Scott]

Life's no fun without risks.