Best way to "accidentally" damage a carpet

[ARW]

Not insurance fraud but just a way to get my Mum to move a wardrobe to the skip. It's at my parents holiday place at Filey. They have just had a new boiler fitted and now my Dad wants the freestanding wardrobe in the bedroom binning as the boiler swap has freed up the space in the built in wardrobe.

He has been told by my Mum that he cannot do this as the carpet will be marked by the wardrobe and it has to stay because it only 4 years old and there is nothing wrong with it.

So the easy answer is to ruin the carpet (with my Dad's permission) so that they have to buy a new one.

I told him to just bin the wardrobe, buy a new carpet and tell her to go f*ck herself but he says that will not work.

Suggestions welcome.

[Tim Watts]

Curry and Orgy party?

[John Williamson]

Get a Vax carpet cleaner and use it to lift the pile where the wardrobe's been standing on it. Then use it to clean the rest of the carpet where it's not been protected by the wardrobe. If you use hot water, you shouldn't be able to see where the wardrobe was.

The worst case is that you can't get rid of the dents, and have to put the wardrobe back where it was.

[Nick]

Army issue hobnail boots. Muckier the better. March smartly across carpet several times whilst accidentally spilling the contents of a 2L jug of home brewed blackcurrant juice. Works wonders. Nick.

[Adrian]

Move the wardrobe and have a look?

Then, whilst you're moving it, "accidentally" break the wardrobe door off?

[The Natural Philosopher]

shut 5 cats in there fir 24 hours.

she will be clamouring to get rid of the carpet.

You can borrow mine (cats) as LONG as you like

They are the sort that jump indoors for a crap.

[spuorgelgoog]

Agreed with John and Adrian: try refreshing the carpet pile, or damage the wardrobe.

Failing that, dropping an iron on the carpet is usually effective, and Mum might be persuaded to run the steam iron over the carpet to refresh the pile and get too close to the pile whilst doing so, Thus damaging the carpet will be /her/ fault.

This is the exact reason I am looking for a rug for the blue bedroom ... :-(

Owain

[The Medway Handyman]

Depends on the pile fabric. Wool or wool blend; red wine/beetroot/blood. Synthetic; heat.

[Bob Eager]

Couple of pints of full cream milk. Leave for as long as possible.

[Jeremy Nicoll - news posts]

Or put something else, maybe a small chest of drawers there, perhaps on top of a small rug?

[Bill]

In message , ARW writes

I'm surprised no one else has suggested this. Angle grinder, Could you make up a reason for using one in the room and then "accidentally" drop it, locked on, onto the carpet, should do the job nicely.

[meow2222]

Wet the pile some, brush vigorously in all directions, sorted.

NT

[newshound]

Not locked on, that could have unintended consequences. Just grind a bit of metal, directing the spray of sparks on to the carpet.

[Bob Henson]

Boil a suitable amount of prawns. Eat prawns with mayonnaise and nice crunchy bread, reserving the liquor. Pour liquor all over the carpet, allow to dry. That should do it.

[Scott M]

Offer to decorate.

A size 9 to the side of the open tin of emulsion; a quick phone call to dad; be chewed out in earshot of mum and be told "not to do anything else and just leave it!" (which gets out of having to /actually/ decorate.)

[ARW]

Boots:-)? This is a 1st floor apartment. It's shoes off at on the ground floor front door. I would never get away with that.

And she still thinks that I deliberately smashed the van roof bars into the garage door so my Dad could have a new wider garage door fitted after she said he could not have one because there was nothing wrong with the existing garage door.

[ARW]

Why would I have a couple of pints of full cream in the bedroom?

[spuorgelgoog]

"I wish we could get another carpet darling, this one reminds me of the cheap hotel in which I shagged your sister"

Owain

[newshound]

You more than anyone, I would have thought.

[Roger Mills]

There's a fair chance that the carpet under the wardrobe will be a different colour - because the rest will have faded in the light, even after only 4 years. [I needed to move a free-standing bedside locker the other day and was amazed at the colour difference. That carpet is certainly no more than 4 years old - maybe less!]