Be careful...

[Kevin]

my toilet seat has a 1/8th inch bumpers and that would make a two year old wince

[The Natural Philosopher]

well MINE have 10mm buffers. Solid oak seats. Your Little Johhny's todger is safe with me ;-)

[Mike Clarke]

Trouble is some seats have a buffer bang in the middle at the front.

[Grimly Curmudgeon]

We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold. I remember "dennis@home" saying something like:

If the seat fell on your todger, please accept my sympathies. It's not my fault, ok? Certainly explains a few things, though.

[dennis]

I know someone it happened to and it isn't nice. Google for penile splint if you want to know what can be the result.

[The Medway Handyman]

Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase 'Todger Dodger'. :-)

[The Wanderer]

Isn't the real problem the modern design of close coupled toilet? There used to be a time when seat and lid would tip well back beyond the vertical, but many modern units seem to have a cistern that projects so far forward that seat and lid are on the point of tipping forward anyway.

Bring back the old high level flush says I. Plenty of room for the lid to tip right back, you had the added bonus of denting the down pipe, and the water entered at a good clearing rate!

[Tim S]

The Wanderer coughed up some electrons that declared:

Funny that. I'm going for high level cisterns for exactly these reasons. Also buys me another 5cm of space as the bog can go a little further back.

I do find most close coupled systems not very good and I'm sure it's got worse with the reduction in flush volume.

Cheers

Tim

[Owain]

The Google ads included one for DIY vaginal casting kits.

Owain

[geoff]

You're sorted for Xmas then ...

[Dave Liquorice]

Designed by a woman?

[Dave Liquorice]

I've yet to see a bump rubber in the central front area of a seat. Though from other posts it appears they do exist.

Precarioulsy balanced upright seats due to poor design, fitting or fluffy seat covers is probably the root cause of the problem but I doubt the statistics include that level of detail.

[F]

Installed, no doubt, by a female plumber...

[Owain]

I usually get Mother a scenic calendar ... and she's not as agile as she used to be.

Owain

[Pete Verdon]

As a student I lived in two houses where I had to add a "bloke hook" to hold the seat up, and a mate lives in another (and has added his own design of bloke hook). My own current house did have the same problem, but that turned out to be due to the hinges having been fitted back-to-front by the DIY idiot that did everything else.

Pete

[The Natural Philosopher]

Bad design. Sue them for todger damage..;-0)

[jkn]

In a slightly different guise, this danger forms a major part of one of the greatest of English 'novels'.

In 'Tristram Shandy' (published starting 1759), the eponymous hero is accidentally circumcised as a child, when after, being held up to a window, the sash accidentally falls(*).

This is only one of the catastrophe that befalls him, in one of the greatest shaggy dog tales ever written.

A film version of this 'impossible to film' novel was made as 'A Cock and Bull story', with Steve Coogan and rob Brydon, a few years ago.

literall-y yours

[Rod]

But if they'd had 'mohel special' bog seats in those days, Laurence Sterne might well have seen fit to change the scene. :-)

Bizarrely, the film had Gillian Anderson in it.

[Bob Eager]

Was it subtitled "The X-foreskin Files"?

[Lobster]

Yebbut you're all assuming that Small Boys always approach the bowl square-on - more often than not they don't. The loo is often in the corner of the bathroom, and Little Johnny (who always waits until the last possible second before tearing upstairs clutching his groin) dashes in, and rushes over to the bowl which he reaches at approximately 45 degrees - ie, with todger directly beneath the falling arc of the buffer.

David