B&Q prepares for tape and ties demand

[Adam Aglionby]

[Nightjar]

B&Q could buy several copies of the book they plan to circulate in any charity book shop, saving themselves money and helping charities at the same time. It is almost as common as second hand copies of the Da Vinci Code.

[Bob Eager]

Anyone read "Fifty Sheds of Grey"?

[Nick]

In message , Adam Aglionby writes

Should make for some unusual excuses in A&E

[harryagain]

Couldn't be arsed.

[harryagain]

Well, if they're on he ball, they'll sell them some cable snips as well to get them of afterward. Maybe strawberry flavoured?

I expect there'll be a big rush to A&E with people with slit wrists/whatever trying to cut them off with kitchen knives.

[Brian Gaff]

Have not cable ties got rather sharp edges for such uses?

Brian

[Chris French]

In message , Brian Gaff writes

Maybe that is part of the point......

Though I was wondering what sort of questions some one might wander up to a member of staff in B&Q and ask? Maybe Wickes could do one of their leaflets?

[The Medway Handyman]

I have - brilliantly funny!

[Brian Gaff]

There are already companies cashing in though. an advert on a freeview channel after 10pm a couple of nights ago has a 50 shades gift pack. It t was an online sex toy shop, but one wonders about the way the items were sourced. I see a lot of strange injuries presenting at a/e in the next few months,, The staff could do with a good laught I reckon. Brian

[Nightjar]

A new line for B&Q - fluffy pink over sleeves for cable ties.

[stuart noble]

I heard it was written by a woman in this century, so that rules it out on two counts

[dennis]

You can always sell them short lengths of hose to go with them.

[John Rumm]

By all accounts they get a good few anyway. They apparently also have a manual of standard techniques for extracting things from places they ought not be!

[Syd Rumpo]

!

I'm afraid that is beyond my imagination. I mean how?...

Cheers

[Chris French]

Indeed, my wife is hospital consultant, don't hear so many tales now as A&E isn't her area. But when they were all more junior doctors I heard quite a few.

I think basically, if you imagine something being put somewhere (and sometimes things you can't imagine), they've seen it......

[John Rumm]

A mate of mine returned from an A&E conference (he was running the AV systems for the event) with some tales... One that sticks in the mind (and by the sounds of it elsewhere!) was how to get a pint glass out of a rectum (length of rope with a knot in the end, and plaster as used for casts etc)

[damduck-egg]

Jug or Sleeve ?

G.Harman

[spuorgelgoog]

I seem to remember reading somewhere that silk is the only material that can be used to tie people up without causing bruising.

Owain

[whisky-dave]

Some of us are more sensible and buy the releasable cable ties. Some people just don't have a clue.