After gormless gas fitters, (see pilot light perils) has been airhead aerial fiters.
Aerial, wind damaged, on flat roof of tenement, downlead fine, internal cable run below floor, so just needs an aerial connected and remounted. Couldn`t be simpler...
Aerosol No.1 Ah, have to put in a new downlead, have to just run it round the top of the skirtings inside, 175 quid plus vat..
Er no mate
120 quid for cash thenEr your oright, last one who stapled an aerial coax managed to put half the staples through the cable.
Arsebandit No.2 You need a downlead yada yada, er 175 quid plus vat, beginning to spot a pattern
nah mate
150nope
120 for cashnope mate and put your staple gun away.
Archoles No.3 Mad Tam and his deranged looking apprentice, need a new aerial mate, our price would be , can you guess, yup 174 plus VAT....
Nah your oright
2 hours later, on the phone, its Mad Tam,he is having a brief sale and can do it for 89 quid for cash.Almost bit, but wasn`t sure he actually knew which way round to hold the staple gun.
Arsenal King of Division 1 Rogue trader of the year, fitter No.4
Due anytime between 12.30 and 15.00, at 15.15 phones to sya he`s on his way.
Ah , whats the problem, blocky picture,not that going to look or switch anything on, right , I`ll have a look at the front of the building...
I`ll look at the back of the switched off TV
I`ll then go back out side for a bit
Then start pulling the aerial faceplate off the wall, re-terminate it there.
Suppose better go and look at roof at last. Right updated my facebook status from roof, better return to actually plug someting in downstairs.
and return to roof, check facebook status.
return from roof to claim that aerial outlet isn`t connected to anything on roof, invent nonsense about old communal aerial and tricky access to run cable.
Am not actually dealing with arse wipe myself at this point, my white haired Mum is whilst I appear occupied with paperwork.
I signal that he is not to be trusted and that Mum may wish to ask him to collect his gear and simply provide the free quote he was called for.
He dissapears to roof to collect his gear eventually.
Meet Mum in hall carrying chequebook, arse wipe required 35 quid for his time till now.
How quaint that some scams stand the test of time, free quote turns into, Ive brought the cable/ladder/aerial with me now, have started work/conducted a survey/taken longer than 15 mins and will have to charge you. Came accross same thing 10 years ago.
He had in fact offered to fill out the cheque for Mum , an offer she found easy to decline.
She had in fact already filled out the cheque and was looking for her guarantee card whilst arse hole went to get rest of his stuff.
At which point asked Mum to make hesrelf scarce whilst I dealt with arse.
Shouted up in plain anglo saxon that he should leave in short order.
What he was actually doing, as discovered later, was mangling remains of our aerial to make reception completely unwatchable.
Took him another 10 minutes to appear at ground floor door, with remarkable rhino hide he was trying to fill out an invoice.
He was told to leave in plain anglo saxon and escorted from the building.
Where he sat in his van for some time, just in sight of front door courier cam.
Mum went out to the post office , via her car just parked up road.
As she drives off Arse Hole of the decade , 3 point turns and goes same way.
It transpires that Arse Hole then followed her to the post office, parks in front of her and climbs out to tell her
Your son was very agressive to me , I`ve informed the Police
He then sits in his van until she comes out again.
Can only think that he thought she was going to the post office to get him cash and that this is a quite normal way of doing business for him.
Police are going to offer him some advice.
Any tips on finding an actual competent Aerial Fitter who won`t try and mug my Mum on the street?
Dinnae say rated people, one and only quote from a dork who thought 330 quid to supply and fit 2 cheap internal doors was a good price...