When God created Adam, Adam became awful bored. With all the meandering about naming animals and dwelling among the trees, he became awful lonely.
Adam said, "God, I'm lonely."
God Said, "I have the perfect plan. I'll create the perfect woman. The woman will do whatever you want. She will cook, clean, never complain, only speak when spoken to. This woman is perfect!"
Adam says, "Great! What's a woman like that cost?"
God replies, "Only an Arm and a leg." Adam says, "What can I get for a rib?"
man was not complete until god made woman. then he was finished.
randy
Man doesn't know true happiness until he gets married. Then it's too late.
meandering
complain,
And God has a sense of humor!
Proverbs 25:24 It is better to live on the roof than to share a house with a nagging wife.
Not only. Consider the gall bladder.
-> When God created Adam, Adam became awful bored. With all the meandering
-> about naming animals and dwelling among the trees, he became awful
-> lonely.
->
-> Adam said, "God, I'm lonely."
->
-> God Said, "I have the perfect plan. I'll create the perfect woman. The
-> woman will do whatever you want. She will cook, clean, never complain,
-> only speak when spoken to. This woman is perfect!"
->
-> Adam says, "Great! What's a woman like that cost?"
->
-> God replies, "Only an Arm and a leg."
-> Adam says, "What can I get for a rib?"
Did GOD write that????
or did the guys putting the bible to gether have a sense of humor?
Remove "YOURPANTIES" to reply
MUADIB®
...but the news just keeps getting worse:
-> > Proverbs 25:24
-> > It is better to live on the roof than to share a house with a nagging
-> > wife.
->
-> ...but the news just keeps getting worse:
Well, that was, um, interesting. (And quite entertaining.)
What is the difference between girls aged:
8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68?At 8 - You take her to bed and tell her a story.
At 18 - You tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28 - You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 38 - She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
At 48 - You tell her a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58 - You stay in bed to avoid her story.
At 68 - If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!!
And God created woman; and she had 3 breasts. She went to the pond and looked at her reflection in the clear water. God asked her what she thought. She held the middle breast in her hand and said that she didn't think that she needed this one. He gestured and it came off in her hands. She again looked at her reflection in the pond and approved, but exclaimed: "What can I do with this useless boob?"
And God created man.
What Are Politics?
A kid goes to his dad and asks, "Dad, what are politics?" His dad replies, " Put it this way; I am the breadwinner of the family so I am capatilism. Your mom is the owner of the money so she is government. The government is the provider for the people so you are the people. Your baby brother will be the future, and the nanny is the working class. Now think about that."
So he went to bed. He was woken by his brother. The baby had pooped in his daiper. He went to tell his parents, but he only found his mom asleep in the bed. He didn't want to wake her, so he went to the nanny. The door was locked. He checked through a hole and saw the dad in bed with the nanny. He went back to bed. The next morning, he went to his dad and said, "Dad i know what you mean now."
"You do? Tell me."
"OK, while capatilism is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep, while the people are watching the future being pooped on!!!"
My mother's favorite words of wisdom were:
"No house is large enough to hold two women."
*****************************I Received this one just this morning....
*****************************WORDS WOMEN USE (A tutorial for men.)
******************************FINE This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
FIVE MINUTES If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
NOTHING This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"
GO AHEAD This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
LOUD SIGH This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"
THAT'S OKAY This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
THANKS A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.
**************************************Jeff
I thought you said your mama drowned all the dumb babies? If so, why are you still here?
And then there is: "Marriage is an institution. Any that gets married belongs in one".
Or "Marriage is a wonderful institution. But who wants to spend the rest of his life in an institution?"
Perce
On 02/03/05 01:26 pm Jerr tossed the following ingredients into the ever-growing pot of cybersoup:
Get back to us when you're over 18, sweetie.
-- Maverick
-- Maverick
Ya but the bitch won't let you stay on the roof....
I believe that OJ did the right thing....Think about it. He was paying something like $25,000.00 a month in child support and hardly ever got to see the kids.
No he pays ZERO in child support and sees the kids whenever he wants.
OJ is my hero.
HomeOwnersHub website is not affiliated with any of the manufacturers or service providers discussed here. All logos and trade names are the property of their respective owners.