Who to hire to change a lightbulb

The lightbulb died in my bedroom. I called my home consultant as well as my insurance agent. I was told this is not covered by insurance and the consultant told me that I need an electrician. I looked up electricians in the yellow book and called one. He told me that he did not think he was qualified for the job and told me to call a plummer. I called a plummer and he told me to call an electrician. I explained that I already did that, and he hung up on me. I called another electrician and he said that can do this myself and told me how to put on gloves and screw something and something about a sock he said to sock it. I did not know what to put the sock on, and by then I was lost. I asked if he could do it, but he said it would be a couple weeks and cost me one hundred dollars. I told him I needed the light today. Then I called another electrician and he told me to call a handyman. I found only one handyman in the yellow book and he only had an answer machine. I called my home consultant again and he told me to call a carpenter or my auto mechanic. A carpenter told me to call an electrician. I explained to him that I already called 4 or 5 of them, and he told me to call more. My auto mechanic told me he only works on cars, not houses.
I finally called city hall and spoke with a building inspector. He told me he would come and inspect the light, but was not allowed to change a bulb and suggested a electrician. I began to tell him about all the electricians I called and he said he would discuss this when he got to my house. I have waited for the inspector for 16 days now. I still do not have a light in my bedroom and have to use candles. Last night the candle fell over and started some paper on fire. When the fire department came, they put out the fire and told me to call my insurance agent. I called him immediately and he told me that using a candle without a holder is a violation and he could not cover the damages. He told me to just change the lightbulb. I called the fire department again, and told them that they need to come and change my light bulb to prevent using more candles. They told me to buy a flashlight.
Out of frustration, I went to Walmart at 3am and bought a flashlight, a lightbulb, and some socks. When I got home the flashlight did not work so I went back to Walmart. They told me I need batterys and sold me some of them. They did not tell me what to do with the batterys, and when I called Customer Service they told me to call an electrician. Why does everyone keep telling me to call an electrician? They dont work on lightbulbs and when I called one of them at 5am, he told me that he dont work on flashlights and hung up on me.
I'm very angry and upset. In fact I just called the hospital and they told me I needed some medicines to calm my nerves and told me to call my doctor today. I called him and got his answer machine. I've been up all night and feel really sick. I still have no light, a dead flashlight, my desk is all burned the wall is burned and the house smells like smoke. Isn't there a professional that specializes in lightbulbs? Who do I call to fix my desk and the burned wall? I think I might have to sell the house after this. I cant live without a light.
Lawrence
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On Thu 23 Oct 2008 05:13:18a, told us...

You don't need a lightbulb in your bedroom. It's supposed to be dark. Go to sleep, hopefully forever.
--
Wayne Boatwright
(correct the spelling of "geemail" to reply)
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snipped-for-privacy@aol.com wrote:

Thats a terrible plight. I can see where you have denied your fair share. You need to elect that Obama guy. Not only will you get free light bulbs that he takes from others who have them he will have them installed for you at no charge. You will never, ever have any problems in your life again either.
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wrote:

McCain will keep your brain cleaner :-)
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snipped-for-privacy@aol.com wrote:

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On Oct 23, 8:13am, snipped-for-privacy@aol.com wrote:

You don't need a new bulb.
Use the new flashlight you exchanged at Wally World, after standing in the Customer No Service line for 40 minutes with the dregs of society, and shine it on the aluminum foil that you have covering your head. The reflected light will be sufficient for bedroom use.
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On Oct 23, 8:13 am, snipped-for-privacy@aol.com wrote:

You need a house mover. Stand on a ladder and hold the bulb. Have the house movers rotate the house. After a few turns, the bulb will come out.
Hold the new bulb in place, and have the house movers rotate the house in the opposite direction.
Easy!
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Now that's what I call thinking out of the box!
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snipped-for-privacy@aol.com wrote:

Don't quit your day job, you'll never make it as a humorist (or a speller for that matter.)
Jeff
--
Jeffry Wisnia
(W1BSV + Brass Rat \'57 EE)
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<snip>
Why don't you call your proctologist?
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You put lightbulbs THERE?
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On 10/23/08 08:13 am snipped-for-privacy@aol.com wrote:

<snip>
When we lived in Taiwan, the locals commonly called the electrician to change a lightbulb. I could find a phone number for you if you like.
Perce
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snipped-for-privacy@aol.com wrote in news:epo0g414856oc5lhvmmgpmokt5dk3ib5k0@ 4ax.com:

I'd be more concerned that you lightbulb "upstairs" is out. It apparently has been out so long the base is frozen to the socket.
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snipped-for-privacy@aol.com wrote:
<stupid attempts at humor snipped>

Will this help?
http://home.comcast.net/~jwisnia18/temp/lightbulb.gif
Jeff
--
Jeffry Wisnia
(W1BSV + Brass Rat \'57 EE)
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If I remember corectly it would take 5 blondes to change a lightbulb
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