Where do I complain?

The speakers on my tablet are tiny and not very loud, even at the highest volume setting. Unless your ear is within a foot or so, you can't hear them - and it's even worse when the tablet is in my case, with the speakers aimed at the back of the case rather than at me.
Nobody told me the volume level of the onboard speakers, but then I didn't bother to ask. So I suppose I have to let that one go.
Earbuds and headphones help, but are unacceptably uncomfortable. Nobody told me that would be the truth of the matter either, but again I didn't ask, so I have to let that one go, too.
I decided that a set of external speakers would be just the thing. But which ones to get? There are so many different models, and ALL of them say they'll be better than the onboard speakers.
Then I was in a Dollar Tree store one day, and saw something on the rack that was just what I had in mind. Twin speakers, about the size of the speakers in an old Walkman-style headphone, mounted in a single holder that plug directly into the headphone jack. No messy cables to tangle or break, and the package promised to improve the volume of any phone or tablet. And it only cost $1!
Eagerly, I bought one. But then when I got home, opened the package, and tried it, I was crestfallen. Not only did it NOT improve volume, as promised, the volume was actually LOWER than the onboard speakers!
Dollar Tree won't take the package back, because it's been opened and used. So I'm out a dollar. And they PROMISED it would work! They LIED!
I need a place to complain, someone who'll take action so that nobody else has to go through the agony I've felt because of this.
But where? I can't decide between the FCC, FTC, FBI, NSA, EPA, USDA, IRS, Secret Service, Homeland Security, the UN, my US senator, Congressman, state governor, comptroller, attorney general, state senator, assemblyman, state police, county executive, county sheriff, district attorney, town supervisor, school district supervisor, or my neighbor down the street.
Somebody, please help...
TJ
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Here - I'll help you.
Why don't you start by forumlating a cogent and useful subject line, so the rest of us know what the fuck your post is about so we can delete it and move on to more important posts?
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On Wed, 09 Apr 2014 14:40:53 -0400, TJ wrote:

FTC. They handle all complaints about false advertising and other consumer complaints.
The el cheapo speakers like you bought, are generally crap. Walmart and even Radio Shack have some amplified speakers that are small and compact that should be better than those. Just be careful not to leave them on for to long as they could burn out.
I have a pair of small 50 watt speakers, with woofer that are awesome. $50 by tehmselves from HP but damn well worth it. I have had them plugged into my laptop and they sound damn better than the internal speakers.
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On 4/9/2014 1:40 PM, TJ wrote:

<snip>

Nice job. :-) Now post several variations of this whine under multiple usernames, and your parody will be complete.
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comp.mobile.android:

You can complain here. We'll take care of it for you right away. Our motto is, "Customer Satisfaction Guaranteed, or Your Money Back!"
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Call Danny D. 1-800-CALL-FTC
--
I kill-file all messages posted through Google Groups.

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On Wed, 09 Apr 2014 14:40:53 -0400, TJ wrote:

If you charged it, call your bank and dispute the charge. Cheers, -- tlvp
--
Avant de repondre, jeter la poubelle, SVP.

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wrote:

*sigh*
I guess you can't troll the trolls....
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To reply via e-mail, remove The Obvious and .invalid from my e-mail address.

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["Followup-To:" header set to comp.mobile.android.]

[...]
<http://www.instructables.com/id/Phono-Horn-Free-Sound-Dock-for-your-Smart-Phone-t/ <http://preview.tinyurl.com/q5hgc5v
--
-- ^^^^^^^^^^
-- Whiskers
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<Snip>

The definitive place to file a complaint is with your parents. Complain to them for raising an idiot!
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On 04/10/2014 01:00 PM, Gordon Shumway wrote:

own complaint was successfully resolved?
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To answer the question in your Subject: line... Apparently everywhere.
Mike "you just aren't very good at it" Yetto
--
"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn`t go
away."
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wrote:
[...]

*Facepalm*
--
When the world ends, there'll be no more air.
That's why it's important to pollute the air now. Before it's too
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On 04/09/2014 11:40 AM, TJ wrote:

The 99-Cents-Only stores in California are top notch and I love them dearly. They're much better than the other dollar stores. Stuff used to cost 99 cents, but now it costs 99.9 cents due to inflation. All they can do now is give smaller sizes of stuff for which that's possible.
If I buy something there that doesn't work (a rarity, honest!) I figure I'm still way ahead of the game and just toss the offending item into the trash. Most of the stuff comes from China, but there are a lot of US brands -- 6.x oz of Colgate, Aim, etc. toothpaste for a buck instead of whatever even Walmart charges.
Too bad they don't have them in your neck of the woods!    
--
Cheers, Bev
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