I have to find large circular metal washers of some very light-weight, fireproof material. The problem is this: there is a mouse infestation in an elderly relative's home. I (and an assortment of handymen, contractors, etc.) have tried for years to find the source of entry for these rodents, and I've gone through extraordinary measures to make sure the slightest possible entry place is either caulked, boarded up, duct-taped, etc.
But at some time in the past, this elderly relative had a wall oven removed and hired a carpenter to install a floor-to-soffit "pantry" cabinet in place of the oven and cabinets that used to occupy that columnar space. It's my belief, as well as the opinion of *all* the contractors, etc., that whoever installed this pantry cabinet failed to seal the hole in the drywall where the wiring supplied the former wall oven, and that the mice come up from the cellar through this hole.
The elderly relative has a traditional "stove" next to the pantry cabinet and recently blew a wad on what she thought was a state-of-the-art range hood. This hood has two halogen bulbs. Because of the intense noise in the house whenever no one is in the kitchen, and the mouse dung in and around the stove, I believe the mice are actually making their way from the hole in the gypsum board into the range hood, and then (I'm not joking) jumping down from the gap between the bulb socket and the bulb.
I therefore need metal washers of specific dimensions to complete the job of mice-proofing the place. I would unscrew the halogen bulbs, fit these mythical washers into the space where the jumping mice now do their acrobatics, and then screw the bulbs back in.
Well, if you're not thinking by now this is one for the alt.home.repair joke files, I'd like to know how I can go about getting such specialty metal washers.