NOTICE:
Terrorism Alert for Thanksgiving 2011. Before carving or eating your turkey today, be sure to thoroughly check it for bombs, and other explosives. Turkeys loaded with explosives are a major source of death, injuries, and other problems on Thanksgiving. Any store bought turkey can be loaded with explosives and other terrorist devices intended to kill. DO NOT trust any turkeys. Anyone under the age of 18 should ask someone in authority to inspect their turkey before eating. This is of utmost importance.
This important alert has been forwarded for your notice by concerned persons in cooperation with the "U.S. Department of Homeland Security".
God Bless America!