Snakes and a cat

From another news group:
--- begin quote "Two live diamondback rattlesnakes were released in an Arizona movie theater during a showing of the new film "Snakes on a Plane," according to Local 6 News."
http://www.local6.com/news/9717727/detail.html
I'm here to tell you, if *I'M* in the "Snakes" movie and some fuckin' rattler starts buzzin' under MY seat, there's gonna be one hell of a lot of holes in the goddamn furniture, along with the smell of cordite and much yelling, screaming, and out-loud praying! And if I ever CATCH the sonofabitch that released the reptiles, he's gonna be in three different states. Simultaneously.
Years ago, somebody tossed a four-foot rubber snake in my lieutenant's car while his car was being gassed up. The lieutenant bailed, drew both his .357s and blew the shit out of the patrol car's front seat. Also took out the transmission, two windows, and the door. Those on the scene said it was funnier than the night the cat learned to open the gerbil's cage... except for the lieutenant of course. After destroying the patrol car, the lieutenant slowly turned (it was said) to the would-be joker. The only sound that could be heard was click-click-click... as the hammers continued to fall on empty cylinders.
There ARE those of us who are not, shall we say, "fond" of s-creatures.
------- end quote
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clipped

Good grief! What do they give you guys batons for? Life has acquainted me well with a few people who carry badges and guns .. scary. One of them gleefully described "the most awesome motorcycle accident I have ever witnessed", in which his partner was hit by car, bounced off SECOND STORY level of a building and caved in the side of a parked car with his rather large body. Walked away with a bit of a limp. One can face down bad guys in dark buildings at night, alone, but fainted having one suture put in a very small cut on his finger :o)
I was about to pick up a fake spider once, because I knew someone who delighted in my fear of s-creatures and had played on my fear too many times. Fortunately the critter moved just as I was about to pick it up.
"We serve and protect when we f------ feel like it."
Gotta go clean the coffee off my monitor screen :o)
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Norminn wrote:

Ah, this was before "batons" and "Tasers" and "rubber bullets" and all that other silliness. One guy I knew DID carry a cattle-prod, but it was more for fun than anything else.

Admittedly, cops have a finely-honed sense of humor, not universally appreciated. One chap I know, when asked his occupation, says: "I'm in solid-waste disposal; I'm a Houston police officer."
You gotta love the radio calls, too. My most memorable:
Dispatcher: "3501. Fight, in progress, parking lot, Joe's Place, 11350 W Hardy. Reportedly two white females with chainsaws involved. Handle Code 3"
or
Dispatcher: "652 check a report of a nude, black, female running across the Hwy 90 bridge at this time."
(two minutes pass)
Dispatcher: "652, additional information on your nude, black, female subject. She is reportedly being pursued at this time by another female with a knife! Handle Code 3."
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wrote:

Many years ago my brother put a rather long black snake in a purse, no strings attached. Placing the purse on the edge of the main road and hiding on our property, we waited with giggles. Sure enough here comes a Cadillac with about four black men. The car stops past the purse. One gets out the back, runs to grab the purse and then runs to the car. The door slams, car goes another ten yards...brake lights come on and all occupants bailed like a Chinese fire drill.
His "stringed purses" very funny also...bless his soul.
Oren
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