Have you seen that appliance touchup paint that comes in a small container and has a tiny brush inside. Well, it's not just for your refrigerator anymore.
Buy the pure white type, and make your smile as white as white can be. Simply use a paper towel and dry off your teeth. Then apply this paint to your teeth using the enclosed brush. Spread it evenly. Wait a few minutes for it to dry, and give a second coat.
You'll have the whitest smile in town for only a few dollars. Bests the high cost of having your dentist apply teeth whitener, and is much more white too. Have a friend take your photo right next to your refrigerator and you'll see your smile and your refrigerator match in color.
Works great for rednecks with black and brown teeth. And if you're missing front teeth, you can always paint a few dried corn kernals and superglue them to your existing teeth. Works every time.