sand in new well

I moved into a new house on a well, about 6 months ago. There's a paper filter by the pressure tank; I've had to change it every 3-4 weeks because it gets clogged and pressure drops to nothing..
The developer has told me this is normal, because it takes time for the well to "develop" (though none of my immediate neighbors has had to change their filters so often)
Recently however, a brand new filter became clogged with sand immediately. The developer had me run a hose from the tank to purge it, but the water never ran clear. So he talked to the well digger, who claims the problem is that I haven't used enough water so the well has never developed. The immediate solution is to run a house from the outside hydrant and do a bucket test every few days to see if there's still sand coming out. The water has been running for about a week now and there is still a lot of sand coming up.. if anything it's gotten worse.
The developer says this is still normal and there's nothing wrong with the well. So his solution is a mechanical pump which will regularly flush out the sand. Cost is about $500 which he seems to think *I* should pay.
I find it hard to beleive that there isn't something wrong with the well that is allowing excess sand to come in.
What kinds of questions should I ask the developer to have the well digger check?
thanks! EmilyS
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You may have an excessive amount of sand getting into your well, or it may be that the well pump was installed too low in the well. They are supposed to be suspended above the bottom of the well.

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