Pervert at the Hardware Store

My nozzle would not go on my hose. Someone must have driven over the end and it was all flat. My neighbor said they sell new ends at the hardware store. I went to the hardware store and asked for a new hose end. The stupid punk kid that works there, who is probably not a day older than 25, asks me if my hose is a male or a female. I knew right away the punk is some sort of pervert who spends all his time looking at p*rn on the internet, and everything in life is about sex. I was very angry and told the punk he is going to lose his job, and left the store without the part. I am writing a letter to the store manager to complain and I got the punks name. He will soon be unemployed. Anyhow, how can you tell if my hose is male or female? I want to know now.

Roy

Reply to
roydeane
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Don't know about others, but I spy Stormin' Mormon adding this one to his list of funniest a.h.r. posts.

Reply to
tioga0630

You are either a troll or an idiot. The nozzle screws on the male end of the hose. The female end of the hose screws onto the faucet. You wanted the male end. The punk kid will not get fired, the store owner will be rolling on the floor laughing. I hope you are not a male human.

Stretch

Reply to
Stretch

Hi, troll from p-252.newsdawg.com

Whatcha say we give you about a 3 for this one...

Reply to
G Henslee

It's a troll for krist's sake. geesh...

Reply to
G Henslee

And a poor one at that. You gave him a 3, I wouldn't go over 1.5.

Harry K

Reply to
Harry K

Ayup. That's on a scale from 1-100.

Reply to
G Henslee

In looking at the message source he's probably a drunk idiot: Date: Sat, 16 Jul 2005 01:24:34 -0500

1am on a Friday night? Yeah, too much free time and too many beers.
Reply to
wkearney99

Hmmm, I just checked, all my current hoses are kinda bisexual. On one side ya got 'yer male thingy, the other end is more female like. I guess it's a good situation for the hose, the male end can couple with the female end.

Does your hose get unpredictable and moody on a regular monthly basis? Do you often have to feed it and talk to it sweetly before it will put out? Does it require an expensive outer covering before it will allow you to take it out? Must these outer covering be rotated, never to use the same one twice in one month? Does your hose require a different set of coverings depending on the season?

If the above is true, sorry to say, but you are stuck with a female hose. I suggest surgery to convert it to the more utilitarian bisexual hose.

DJ

Reply to
DJ

Stick it about 2' up your ass. If it's male, it will feel good.

Reply to
Caesar Romano

You should explain Just what the punk said in detail to the manager. They should pull his pants down and spank him hard but in a nice sort of way.

Reply to
Sacramento Dave

I think the key word is idiot. I wish I was at the store when they get that letter.

Reply to
Sacramento Dave

Heh. My first reaction to the troll was, "Too bad, you probably missed the best sex you'll ever have in your life."

Reply to
Andy Sullivan

Well, you got to unscrew it off. And then you visually compare the end to a handy male versus female chart which is easily found on the web.

But you think I'm a pervert, too, cause I'm telling you to unscrew off.

Reply to
Stormin Mormon

This was pretty lame compared to some. I'm not going to bother to archive it.

Reply to
Stormin Mormon

Everything in life IS about sex.

And aren't we supposed to be looking at p*rn on the Internet?

I thought that was the reason Al Gore created the Internet in the first place?

duh!

Reply to
Yeung Fun Ho

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