OT The right thing to do

[Bob F]

I'm sure tou're right.

[dadiOH]

I think not. She should take her lumps and move on.

The $75 is pretty cheap to learn that there are lots of jerks in the world.

[Jim Elbrecht]

-snip-

Second that. I might also try to mitigate the damages on the 'lesson learned' and help out with a replacement pair of sneakers.

Jim

[HeyBub]

Assuming the facts are as you have presented them:

You've gotten some heartfelt suggestions, most along the lines of: a) Chalk up the experience as the cost of doing business, and b) Avoid these parents in the future. Let's look at some similar conditions:

I. You turn over your car keys to the valet ("Valet parking only") only to have your car returned with numerous dents. Is your reasoned response simply to avoid doing future business with the enterprise that wrecked your car?

1. You check your mink coat at the restaurant's door only to have it returned slathered in chicken-fat. Rancid chicken-fat. Do you simply vow not to patronize that restaurant in the future?

1. Change the facts in the instant case just a tad; what if the dog had bitten your daughter instead of the shoes? Would you expect the dog's owners to cover all the medical expenses involved?

I think your daughter has a learning opportunity here, a moment to stand in righteous indignation, to look evil in the eye and beat it back into the dark hole from which it tried to emerge. Suggest to your daughter that she take the following steps:

1. Send a certified letter to the family outlining the facts: a) I was hired to baby sit, b) Your dog destroyed my property, c) I was not warned of the destructive nature of the dog, and therefore, 4) I expect to be reimbursed for the damage. The briefer the letter, the better. Copy to the family making the original referral.

1. Hearing nothing in ten days, trot down to the local small claims court and file a claim. The clerk will walk you through the process. Send copies of all the paperwork to the original referring family.

This is a slam-dunk legal case. The process above will cost the parents far more than the $75. They'll have to pay that, of course, plus all the costs associated with the filing of the claim, plus time off from work if they want to contest to suit. If they fail to pay the judgment, the cost goes up dramatically when the constable visits their office with a "levy and execute" writ and seizes their computers to sell at auction.

A day may come when the courage of men fails - when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship. But it is not this day.

An hour of woe and shattered shields when the age of men comes crashing down. But it is not this day.

This day we fight.

By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you stand ...

[Stormin Mormon]

The Dr. Laura response, most likely. That the two doctors are neglecting the most important job of all, that is raising their own kids. By selfishly serving their own needs for power, fame, etc, the doctors are damaging their own kids. I'd have to guess Dr. Laura would suggest to walk away from these selfish doctors, and maybe she'd suggest to mention that to all the other known babysitter girls.

[Stormin Mormon]

Uncaring people like these doctors, there's bound to be some other trap, if the girl returns to her babysitting job. Unfortunately, the kids are the ones who suffer. Frequent changes of sitter, and also they are learning (from the doctors) selfish and crass ways of dealing with the hired help.

Even with paying for the shoes and upfront payment for the sitting, I'd still not want to return.

[Stormin Mormon]

Since it's not the parents responsibility to inform the sitter of the dog's chewing? I suspect that selfish doctors also have high power lawyers, and that could be even more expensive to the sitter.

I sense the dog is as badly neglected as the kids. Doing in the dog is only treating a symptom.

[Phisherman]

I am a bit surprised the parents would not make it right. The reason I say that is because the home was her place of employment. Yes, I think the parents should have told her more about the dog's behavior. This is a bit difficult to analyze--do we assume she was dog-sitting too? If the job was called "house-sitting" more blame is put on the sitter because her job was to watch the entire household. Dogs often chew or dig when frustrated or bored, plus you can't assume every dog will behave the same way. I think she learned at lot about this unfortunate experience. I would let her make the decision what she will do about it then support her decision.

[Stormin Mormon]

Lets see. They don't care about people, and don't communicate with hired help.

So, the doctors don't care what you have wrong, and don't tell the pharmacist what to dispense. Sounds like a combination from hell.

[Stormin Mormon]

If Dr. Laura was reading this group, she would likely thank you for your concern, and excellent observation.

[Stormin Mormon]

The ones gang members wear?

Seriously, I prefer to pay $25 or less for my sneakers, but then, I'm not interested in impressing anyone. Or looking kewl.

[Bill]

I just bought a new pair of shoes at Walmart for $12.

When there is a dog around, I put my shoes up on a table where the dog can't get them.

I refuse to remove my shoes to go into someone's home. I will wait outside if I am picking someone up there or whatever. I would never ask anyone visiting my home to remove their shoes. (And I would of course never install white carpet.)

[Stormin Mormon]

I think the sitter's parents should reimburse half the cost of the sneakers. After all, it's not the sitter's fault. Would be kind of the parents, but not totally necessary of course. Help sofen the blow, you could say.

[norminn]

One should not read too much into the situation, but the idea that bothers me most is that the owner considers the sitter responsible for the dog's behavior....what if the dog runs off or bites a child? Whew! Run, don't walk.

Sounds like the daughter is very responsible. I always had new sitters come over for an interview - casual - and just visit and get familiar. Any concerns about the house, the children, what to do in emergency, etc., were discussed beforehand. That included a dog that would take any opportunity to run off if the door was opened...I and children didn't always notice when someone came to the door that the darn dog was right there, ready to flee :o)

[norminn]

A neighbor came to my door long ago, claiming that my son had aimed a bottle rocket at her boy, it hit him and burned a small hole in the front of his shirt and burned his belly a tiny bit. Wanted reimbursement for the shirt. Didn't know her well and the kids played together quite a bit. I paid her for the shirt and apologized, doubting that my son had done what she said he did. Kids about 12 and neither of us witnessed the event. Next day her boy was out shooting off bottle rockets and had one fly by his face, missing him by about an inch. Don't recall what the shirt cost - not much - but worth it to keep the peace. Didn't ever have a strong disagreement with a neighbor until many years later, and it was their choice, not mine. Have had the best and the worst of neighbors.

[norminn]

I disagree....I've always allowed my kids to make mistakes and correct the situation themselves, when appropriate, but this situation hints at some really bad traits in the employer that I wouldn't want the daughter to experience. Little "mistakes" are great learning experiences and an exercise in avoiding big mistakes. First lesson: $75 for a pair of shoes is a lot of money, esp. for a teen. Second lesson: working for one's own support does not bring unlimited resources. Third lesson: be aware of surroundings at all times. Fourth lesson: some people are crass and selfish, no matter their status in the community. Carry on with dignity and don't give in to their crass and selfish behavior (i.e., don't go back for more, just for the money).

That said, it really, really bugs me when parents try to control every situation for their children - all of a sudden, they are 18 or 21, out of the house and don't know what to do when mommy and daddy aren't there to "fix" things. BTDT.

[Steve B]

So, your whole post is a regret of your own training of your children and does not contain any usable advice for the OP?

If Mommy were a parent like you, the girl wouldn't be out working for four different people babysitting, and she would have "poor darling"'ed her and took her straight away to buy another pair of shoes, which Mommy would have paid for. Just like you did with your kids.

No, she didn't do that, but asked advice here first, and is leaving her daughter to handle the situation, albeit with a little guidance.

Good on her.

Bad on you.

Is that last kid still living in your basement?

Steve

[Steve B]

The same thing can be accomplished by telling the people she won't babysit for them any more, and why. By thanking the friend for the referral, and why, and a caution to the person referring her. By telling other sitters that these people are cheapskates who will probably charge her for the water she drinks while in their house. That won't get the $75 back, but I guarantee it will cost the cheap doctors more than that in the end.

And all done without a shot fired or a bunch of drama. That's what an adult would do, and the lady is really trying to teach the daughter the lessons of how to be an adult, and not a child by running around screaming and making threats and involving other people in the fray.

Steve

[trader4]

nUVZ [e-mail]:

Yeah, I agree. Unbelievable how sick some people are. What happened here is the doctors fault, not the dog's. This is not only

1000X worse, but criminal as well.

[trader4]

Wrong. The same thing cannot be accomplished because by taking them to small claims court, there is the distinct possibility that she could win and collect her $75. Also win or lose, it will cost the doctors the time to appear in court and if the court finds in the girl's favor, the doctors may learn from it. The girl will also learn from the experience. Is it worth doing? That is up to the girl to decide. It's also very possible that once served with the suit, they may just pay up, not wanting to go to court and appear to be taking advantage of a baby sitter.

I'd say assuming the facts are as stated, she has at least a 50-50 chance of winning.

Who suggested anyone run around screaming and making threats? Also, according the post, the daughter is of college age, not a child.