OT The right thing to do

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Greetings
This is a sensible group on Usenet, so I thought I'd ask here.
My daughter is paying her way through college by babysitting. She has 4 different families she baby-sits for regularly. She took on an assignment for a new family through a referral. She normally doesn't take any new assignments on, because the families she sits for, treat her very well.
The family has 2 children, and the parents are both doctors. They also have a pet dog. Within 1 hour, my daughter noticed the dog had one of her less than a week old sneakers in it's mouth, ripped to shreds.
She paid for these with her money, they ran her $75. The parents refuse to pay for her sneakers, saying she should be responsible for her sneakers. She left her shoes at the door, because they have a very nice new home.
I say the people should have warned her about the dog being a chewer, and should take responsibility for their pet.
Needless to say, she learned a lesson the hard way.
What do you say?
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Karen wrote:

Sounds like fullgrown if it tears shoes to shreds. If it tore her shoes, I would expect that it does damage to the owners' belongings, too. Very odd that they did not warn her. There are several choices, and you probably have them in mind: Isolate the dog or put her belongings away when there to avoid future damage. The thought that bothers me most is whether if the dog damages the owners' belongings while your daughter is there, will they hold her responsible. I think it would be a good idea to give notice and depart from their employ. Since your daughter was considerate enough to leave her shoes at the door, it is pretty trashy to avoid responsibility for damage their dog does.
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Hi,
Thanks for the response.
It's a full grown dog. My daughter has over 250 hrs of voluntary service at the local veterinarians as part of her requirements, and is planning on becoming a vet. She asked her questions about their pet, if she should know anything about it, aside from letting it out. One of the family's pet has diabetes, and she has to give it a shot. Another family's pet has seizures, so she likes to familiarize herself with all aspects of the pets, along with any children's special needs.
She will not be going back to this family. She pretty much was doing it because of the strong referral. The family has tried to coax her back, but refuses to acknowledge any responsibility on their part. They seem to believe it's a one-way street, and try to make her feel obligated to them for child care.
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No no no no. Venus flytrap. Vampire. Stay away.
--
Tegger


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Karen wrote:

When they call back really desperate, let them know she would be happy to help them out, with payment up from for the damage and the service.
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wrote

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Bob F wrote:

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wrote

NO! Next week it will just be another drama.
Steve
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Steve B wrote:

I'm sure tou're right.
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Bob F wrote:

I think not. She should take her lumps and move on.
The $75 is pretty cheap to learn that there are lots of jerks in the world.
--

dadiOH
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I think the sitter's parents should reimburse half the cost of the sneakers. After all, it's not the sitter's fault. Would be kind of the parents, but not totally necessary of course. Help sofen the blow, you could say.
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Christopher A. Young
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Stormin Mormon wrote:

I disagree....I've always allowed my kids to make mistakes and correct the situation themselves, when appropriate, but this situation hints at some really bad traits in the employer that I wouldn't want the daughter to experience. Little "mistakes" are great learning experiences and an exercise in avoiding big mistakes. First lesson: $75 for a pair of shoes is a lot of money, esp. for a teen. Second lesson: working for one's own support does not bring unlimited resources. Third lesson: be aware of surroundings at all times. Fourth lesson: some people are crass and selfish, no matter their status in the community. Carry on with dignity and don't give in to their crass and selfish behavior (i.e., don't go back for more, just for the money).
That said, it really, really bugs me when parents try to control every situation for their children - all of a sudden, they are 18 or 21, out of the house and don't know what to do when mommy and daddy aren't there to "fix" things. BTDT.
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So, your whole post is a regret of your own training of your children and does not contain any usable advice for the OP?
If Mommy were a parent like you, the girl wouldn't be out working for four different people babysitting, and she would have "poor darling"'ed her and took her straight away to buy another pair of shoes, which Mommy would have paid for. Just like you did with your kids.
No, she didn't do that, but asked advice here first, and is leaving her daughter to handle the situation, albeit with a little guidance.
Good on her.
Bad on you.
Is that last kid still living in your basement?
Steve
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Steve B wrote:

her daughter did just fine.....the daughter seems very mature and reasonable. A couple of replies suggested the daughter go back, and that is where I would draw the line in this situation. The "BTDT" was my experience of seeing other parents unable to let go, unable to allow children to make a plan or to proceed in their own choices (with APPROPRIATE guidance, of course)...just let kids do the thinking, always be aware and give guidance when needed. As for my own children, all three are capable, mature, kind, assertive, responsible and creative....couldn't ask for better. They are also terrific parents.
Forgive me for expanding on the original topic...
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Thread drift takes us into the darkest corners ......................
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-snip-
Second that. I might also try to mitigate the damages on the 'lesson learned' and help out with a replacement pair of sneakers.
Jim
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Jim Elbrecht wrote:

A neighbor came to my door long ago, claiming that my son had aimed a bottle rocket at her boy, it hit him and burned a small hole in the front of his shirt and burned his belly a tiny bit. Wanted reimbursement for the shirt. Didn't know her well and the kids played together quite a bit. I paid her for the shirt and apologized, doubting that my son had done what she said he did. Kids about 12 and neither of us witnessed the event. Next day her boy was out shooting off bottle rockets and had one fly by his face, missing him by about an inch. Don't recall what the shirt cost - not much - but worth it to keep the peace. Didn't ever have a strong disagreement with a neighbor until many years later, and it was their choice, not mine. Have had the best and the worst of neighbors.
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On Sat, 23 Jan 2010 10:04:28 -0500, " snipped-for-privacy@earthlink.net"

Never had any problem with the series of neighbors to my left, with whom I share a wall. Until the last one. He wanted the vines off my house, said that rats and snakes would live in them. He was from the Carribean where that was probably true, but it's not true here. He wanted all the stuff out of the fenced in area in front of my kitchen, which only he could see and only when he was smoking right on the other side of the fence.
And he was pushy in the way he did it. And wouldn't give me his phone number.
Anyhow, he and his wife split up so they had to sell the house. Lost about 25% of what they paid 2 years ago at the top of the bubble.
Now I have a new neighbor, single, pretty, blonde, in her 20's. So I can take her out, I've resolved to lose 50 pounds and 30 years. I'm looking for two effective reduction plans.
I'm also trying a lot harder to be quiet late at night, and I keep thinking it's for the nonsense reason so she will really like me, but deep down I'm sure I just don't want to fight with a second neighbor.
(I actually don't think she can hear me. In 26 years, I've barely heard a peep out of any neighbor, and never the tv in the bedroom. Surely some of them watched tv in the bedroom.)
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wrote:

I believe what was meant was "payment up front".

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Uncaring people like these doctors, there's bound to be some other trap, if the girl returns to her babysitting job. Unfortunately, the kids are the ones who suffer. Frequent changes of sitter, and also they are learning (from the doctors) selfish and crass ways of dealing with the hired help.
Even with paying for the shoes and upfront payment for the sitting, I'd still not want to return.
--
Christopher A. Young
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