OT: Thanks and No thanks, El Nino

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This winter due to strong El Nino our weather so far is out of whack. More sick folks coming to store asking for help. Korean Plum tree, Lilacs in our yard are budding turning green, expecing many tree/shrubbery kills if it's like this all season long. Even night time temp. is above freezing. Rain in December, hard to believe. I believe in global warming trend, climate cycle or whatever... Mountains received more than usual snowfall, ski hills operators are just happy expecting good business. Lots of Americans coming up taking advantage of exchange rate.
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On 12/4/2015 2:54 PM, Tony Hwang wrote:

Our lemon and lime have already begun setting fruit for their next crops (shouldn't happen until March-ish). Wildflowers are eagerly growing in the front yard. etc. But, this has happened increasingly in recent years. Winter comes later and later and lasts shorter and shorter.
The brief excursions into below normal temperatures are the annoyance, here. E.g., a couple nights at ~28F and now our nights are up closer to 40F with daytime temps in the mid 70's. Goal is to get past "harvest" before we see any (night) temperatures lingering at or below that magical 28F.
OTOH, we are expecting above average rainfall this winter which would be a blessing -- help replenish the aquifers.
OToOH, the cold usually helps control "pests" that otherwise can become a nuisance.
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Don Y wrote:

I remember you said you're in Southern AZ. My in-law has a winter home in Tubac down there. Since the man died a few years ago, wife has new boy friend(or whatever he's called) I quit going down there. If it keeps up like this don't have to go away in the winter. Many ducks are still around in the river, no sign of freezing up.
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On 12/4/2015 4:54 PM, Tony Hwang wrote:

I know the mild climate has it's negative impact, but I'm all for it. I've lived in the wintry state most of my life and honestly, other than the beautiful sight it displays (countryside....not the dirty black eyesore on the side of the roads), I wouldn't miss it. Besides, it gives me a chance to ride the motorcycle more often.
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Per Meanie:

Welcome to the "Lake Effect Snow" in Northern New York. ------------------------------------------------------------------ December 8 - 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 9 - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.
December 12 - The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.
December 14 - Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.
December 15 - 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
December 16 - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, Which I think was very cruel.
December 17 - Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.
December 20 - Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Goddamn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
December 22 - Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the jerk is lying.
December 23 - Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What, is she nuts??? Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago??? She says she did but I think she's lying.
December 24 - 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow plow I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been!
Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the goddamn snowplow.
December 25 - Merry fricking Christmas! 20 more inches of the goddamn slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.
December 26 - Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.
December 27 - Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze, plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.
December 28 - Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. THE BITCH is driving me crazy!!!
December 29 - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
December 30 - Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver. He is now suing me for a million dollars not only for the beating I gave him but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went home to her mother. 9" predicted.
December 31 - I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.
January 8 - Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed? ------------------------------------------------------------------
--
Pete Cresswell

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On 12/4/2015 6:02 PM, (PeteCresswell) wrote:

Beat me to it! :>
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On 12/4/2015 8:29 PM, Don Y wrote:

Dittos, chief. I was thinking much the same. Years later, I totally love that bit of writing.
--
.
Christopher A. Young
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On 12/4/2015 7:02 PM, (PeteCresswell) wrote:

That's hysterical!!!!!!!!! HAHAAAAAAHAHAAAAAA!!!
--
Maggie

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On 12/04/2015 09:40 PM, Muggles wrote:

Never lived in Buffalo, did you?
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On 12/5/2015 12:01 PM, rbowman wrote:

The version I have was Winter in CT. Same general idea but far more of a focus on the snow plow driver -- as if it was just a contest between the homeowner and the warp/twisted snow plow driver!
ObTrivia: when selecting a home in a northern climate, get one with a south-facing driveway. The difference in effort required to clear it (and keep it clear) is astonishing! (ours faced north -- so was almost always a sheet of ice, even after clearing!)
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On 12/5/2015 1:01 PM, rbowman wrote:

Nope! We've had a few deep snows before, but nothing like that.
That was really funny. Thanks for posting it!
--
Maggie

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Muggles explained :

I hate snow. I sold our mpuntain home in arrowbear because of the snow. The closest we get to snow here in the inland empire is freezing rain, and it lasts for a couple of hours and is gone.
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Uncle Monster brought next idea :

Looks that way Uncle. Those snakeheads are walkers as well, so we are on the lookout for hitch hiking snakehead fish along I8 and I10. Some were reported to be armed with explosives wrapped around their middle, and blurping "allah hu akbar"! as they get in the cars and squeezing their relay buttons.
Snakehead killer Eagle
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After serious thinking Oren wrote :

We catch these in Mexican waters often. I was fishing for Albacore a few years back and hooked into one. The flashing colors were remarkable!
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on 12/5/2015, Oren supposed :

COOL! I bet he was a jumper!
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Uncle Monster posted for all of us...

Not to worry we will "screen" them through Syria
--
Tekkie

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Per Uncle Monster:

When I was working the 4-midnite shift at Hickam in Hawaii, during the summer I used to hitch-hike into Waikiki every morning to surf.
Part of my little ritual was breakfast at the beachfront hotel where I kept my surfboard: mahi, toast, jelly, and coffee: ninety-eight cents.
--
Pete Cresswell

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Uncle Monster was thinking very hard :

Hawaii's MxDonkeys has a good spam menu. We ate so much spam it squirted out kinda orangy goo. 8-o
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Per Uncle Monster:

A number of years ago I went back for a month to look up old friends, take them to dinner, and see how their lives came out.
My advice: If you have fond memories of the place, don't go back. I almost cried when I saw what had happened to The North Shore.....
--
Pete Cresswell

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Uncle Monster formulated on Monday :

The population of japs has gone to overload, and the haoles are moving back to the left coast. The locs are keeping to themselves and not allowing non pollies to move to their islands. Howlies still get pounded if they try to muscle in on surf. When I was there, I was glad I wan't seen as a haole!
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