OT: Humor

[Malcom "Mal" Reynolds]

1. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child's name?

1. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?

1. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?
2. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?
3. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly?
4. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?
5. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?
6. What was the President's Name in 1975?
7. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?
8. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the eggs are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?
9. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?

Here are the Answers

1. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child's name? Answer: Johnny of course
2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh? Answer: Meat.
3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered what was the highest mountain in the world? Answer: Mt. Everest; it just wasn't discovered yet.
4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet? > Answer: There is no dirt in a hole.
5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly? Answer: Incorrectly
6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet her birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible? Answer: Billy lives in the Southern Hemisphere
7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not? Answer: You can't take pictures with a wooden leg. You need a camera to take pictures.
8. What was the President's Name in 1975? Answer: Same as is it now - Barack Obama
9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now? Answer: You would be in 2nd. Well, you passed the person in second place, not first.
10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the eggs are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"? Answer: Neither, the yolk of the egg is yellow [Duh]
11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field? Answer: One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big stack.

[Dean Hoffman]

Cut rest due to AIOE quotation limits.

This is for fun:

This is for humility: I definitely belong in the humble group.

[tom]

Quote Willie Nelson:

Two nuns were cycling down a cobblestone street. One said "I've never come this way before.....". The other replied "It must be the cobbles.".

[Bob_Villa]

1. The Conqueror Worm: A small worm is at the bottom of a 30-inch pit, and is trying to escape. Each hour, the worm crawls up 3 inches, then slides b ack down 2 inches. How long will it take the worm to reach the top of the p it? Answer: At hour 27 the worm will need one more hour...so 28 hrs. (he will n ot slide-back once he reaches the top)