odd Guarantees for tools and stuff

What is the strangest guarantee you've had on a tool or garden utensil? I bought an aluminum grain shovel at Tractor Supply this winter for snow and the warranty said "agricultural use not covered"
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Jim K wrote:

A flashlight "guaranteed against everything except shark bites, bear attacks, and children under five."
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wrote:

Read a few "lifetime" warranties for a good laugh. Many of them guarantee the product against defects for the *product's* lifetime. In other words, if it wears out normally, it's not covered under the warranty. Who decides on the lifetime ? Why the company, of course, when you call them up for coverage :-)
Bob
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You have apparently never worked on a farm if you think that is strange. A aluminum shovel will not last very long when it is used to really shovel grain. The wheat chafe and cement floor of the granary will wear it down just like a grinder. Usually though before it wears down to a nub it will break at the handle junction.

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This doesn't refer to a warrant, but I wonder if a strange set of instructions will count here? We bought a fan a number of years ago that was intended to be placed in a window. The box showed a picture of air being brought in from the outdoors OR exhausted outward, and the information on the box said "manually reversible." We thought that meant that there would be a lever to reverse the direction of the fan blades. But, no ... "manually reversible" meant we could lift the fan out and reverse the direction that it was set in the window!
MaryL
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bought a watch at K-mart for $4.00 it was guaranteed for one year, you just had to send it back to the factory with a check for $3.95........
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I bought a watch at wall mart, couple days later the strap broke, when I took it back they asked if the watch still worked, I said yes, they said well we only warrenty the watch not the strap.

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Jim K writes:

Boots from K-Mart. Satisfaction guarantee or your money back. Asked for my money back, they said, "Oh, those are from Shoe Mart, no guarantee." Sure enough, in the K-Mart shoe department, was the sign, "Shoe Mart". Wonder why K-Mart went bankrupt?
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I bought socks with a lifetime warranty. I questioned how that was possible, since socks obviously wear out in a year or so. They told me that when that happened, they would be replaced, repeatedly and forever.
I got them replaced about 3 times, when the store cancelled the warranty. When I made an issue out of it, they can't arbitrarily cancel a lifetime warranty, they gave me my money back. Well, free socks for a few years; not too bad.
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