Nothing is more important than the family's jewels. Protect them with the revolutionary new "Pecker Locker ®" I will custom make one to fit your family jewels. Made of welded one quarter inch thick durable steel diamond plate and secured with a super hard Master Lock. You'll always be safe from unwanted women trying to get your most prized tool. Remember, SAFETY FIRST.
Prices start at only $299.99 for the basic no-frills model, or I can add lots of bells and whistles if you want to get the most fun and protection. We are not a large business. I make these in my home garage for special clients such as yourself.
For more information, email me. To order, send me an email along with payment. You will be required to meet me in person, in the comfort of my own garage, so I can personally measure your family jewels to insure proper fit.
If you have an erection lasting more than four hours, please unlock your "Pecker Locker ®" and contact your doctor immediately.
Master Boinker Welder Artist and Purveyor of Pecker Security © 2007