My anti-tailgater attachment

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After years of work, I have developed a device that actually stops tailgaters. Using the pump from a power washer, I rigged the pump to my engine and connected the hose and nozzle to the rear bumper of my car. In my trunk I have a ten gallon tank recovered from a well water system.
I simply fill the tank with readily available drain oil from doing oil changes, and keep the tank filled. When a tailgater starts riding my ass, I simply flip a switch on my dash, and a strong spray of dirty drain oil covers the car's windshield that is tailgating me, as well as coating the highway with an oil slick. The driver is totally blinded and goes into a spin on the oily slick on the road. So far, every tailgater has gone off the road and totally wrecked their car. Not one driver has been able to maintain control of their vehicle once I turn on the spray. It's really awesome watching these tailgaters lose control and crash their vehicles. Better yet, it don't cost me a cent to refill my oil tank and get prepared for the next tailgater.
One car even burst into flames, and the oil just added to the fire.
If anyone wants the entire set of plans, I'd be happy to send them to you for a mere $50, shipping included. Just send me email and I'll arrange payment and get your mailing address to get you on your way to eliminate tailgators from your life forever.
Harold Sullivan II
snipped-for-privacy@hotmail.com
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---------- Nice fantasy. Mine involves a row of 6 1000 watt Halide lamps attached to my rear bumper, pointing at the tailgaters windshield. A switch on the dash let's me flash them on and off. At least it doesn't kill unintended targets.
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On Sat 07 May 2005 12:55:11a, Abe wrote in alt.home.repair:

I've always wanted a button on the dashboard that, when pushed, would obliterate the vehicle immediately in front of me. This would be far preferable to using the horn!
--
Wayne Boatwright *¿*
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On 7 May 2005 16:55:20 +0200, Wayne Boatwright

I have the bumper sticker "Horn broken... Watch for finger!"
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I pull over and let them by. The time I lose pulling over I make up by speeding up for a while. Never get a ticket because the tailgater already cleared the speed traps.
wrote:

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I don't know which is worse, the idiot blocking the left lane in front of me or the AH tailgating me...
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Beeper wrote:

> >

Truly the best approach. Let the dumb so and sos serve as trooper bait. -- Tom H
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A number of years ago, I was going well over 80 in a 55 zone, passing a long line of slower traffic, when some fool roared right up behind me and started honking his horn and flashing his lights. Okay, if you want me out of your way that badly... I found a place to move over, let him pass, and moved back out into the left lane and resumed speed. Not three minutes later, he hit a speed trap.
I honked the horn and waved as I went by. :-)
-- Regards, Doug Miller (alphageek at milmac dot com)
Nobody ever left footprints in the sands of time by sitting on his butt. And who wants to leave buttprints in the sands of time?
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If someone is really following close, I clean my windshield. Lots of fluid.... Invariably I get to see the slob following too close have to switch his wipers on as well. It never ceases to put a smile on my face.
--
Mortimer Schnerd, RN

snipped-for-privacy@carolina.rr.com.barf
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Perfect answer Beeper!
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This message is in MIME format. The first part should be readable text, while the remaining parts are likely unreadable without MIME-aware tools.
--0-356286658-1115656313=:708 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=X-UNKNOWN; format=flowed Content-Transfer-Encoding: QUOTED-PRINTABLE
On Sat, 7 May 2005, Wayne Boatwright wrote:

Heat-seeking stinger missles. Ollie North still sells them, surplus, for $19.95 each, four for $80.00. Shipping and handling, extra.

--0-356286658-1115656313=:708--
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I find that having a 2x6 or two tied to the roof-rack with enough slack to let them shift around is generally enough to make people give me some room.
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Goedjn ( snipped-for-privacy@mail.uri.edu) said...

I once knew of someone who had replaced the bumper on his car (a few years old) with a hunk of 4" C-channel...
Nothing like a car that says, "an impact won't be felt by me" to keep others at bay.
--
Calvin Henry-Cotnam
"Never ascribe to malice what can equally be explained by incompetence."
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On Tue, 10 May 2005 11:55:36 GMT, snipped-for-privacy@remove.daxack.ca.invalid (Calvin Henry-Cotnam) wrote:

I once had a 1977 Cadillac Sedan De Ville. Unfortunately, I got it in 1992. The body was three or four different shades of white, most applied with a spray can, crowned with a weatherbeaten sky-blue vinyl top. It had a 480-odd cu. in. engine. It was 5100 pounds of rumbling indifference to the actions of idiotic neighboring drivers. It got to using nearly as much transmission fluid as gasoline, but I loved the sheer audacity of that car.
Gregv Guarino
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Why deal in fantasies? You can order one of these *today*.
http://www.stylinconcepts.com/parts.cfm/partfamilyid/1547/key_word/smoke
John
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--------- Darn, it says for off-road use only :-)
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On Sat 07 May 2005 10:41:57a, Abe wrote in alt.home.repair:

It didn't say off which road. ;-0
--
Wayne Boatwright *¿*
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On Sat, 07 May 2005 15:26:22 GMT, "John‰]                                                                 "

Doesn't come with the tear gas option.
:(
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"John?] "
wrote:

John. I Used something like this back in the 40's. Made my own. 33 chev had wooden floor boards, so I Drilled a hole through and drilled into exhuast pipe and inserted a 1/4 " copper pipe. Used a can of kerosene and a manual valve. Left every one sitting at the intersection for a while. Try that today and JAIL time. W W
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wrote:

Well, in the 50's, the trick was to drill a hole in the tailpipes near the end, tap a couple of threads in and screw in a couple of spark plugs. Wire them to a Model T spark coil and a switch. Wind the engine up tight in second gear, flip the switch and the plugs would ignite the unburned fuel leaving the tailpipes resulting in six foot columns of flame from each pipe. It would scare the crap out of you at night.
Ahhh the good old days....
John
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