Making a blizzard survival kit

[Stormin Mormon]

From: Newsgroups: rec.autos.driving,alt.home.repair,alt.autos Sent: Tuesday, February 26, 2008 2:14 AM Subject: How to make a "Blizzard Survival Kit" for Drivers

Making a "Blizzard Survival Kit" !!!

You're driving down the road in a winter blizzard. The thermometer reads minus 25, the winds are blowing 50 mph and you cant see ten feet ahead of you. Suddenly your car slides off the road into a ditch and a deep snow bank. The snow is packed under the car so the wheels do nothing but spin. You don't have a snow shovel to dig the car out, or a safety flare to alert the authorities. Your cellphone battery is dead, and you're freezing cold. You know you will soon die from exposure and freaze to deeth. What are you going to do as you kneel on the front seat of your car praying to the plastic Jesus hanging on your rear-view mirror, while cussing out God because of the tragedy you are experiencing.

But, you know you're prepared for an emergency such as this, because you were smart enough to create a "Blizzard Survival Kit" long before this disaster occurred, and every good driver knows that sooner or later this disaster WILL happen.

You open the glove compartment and find a small carboard box. Inside the box is an ice pick, book of matches, some cotton, a nail, some bubblegum, and a candle.

Here's how to use your "Blizzard Survival Kit".

1. Empty contents of the box.

1. Puncture the bottom of the cardboard box with the nail and stick the nail into the bottom of the candle so the candle stands upright inside the box.

2. Place the cotton around the base of the candle inside the box.

1. Light the candle inside the car so the wind does not blow out the match.

2. Take the ice pick and puncture a small hole in your cars gas tank.

1. Carry the "Blizzard Survival Kit" with burning candle to the rear of the car and place the box near (but not too close) to the leak in the gas tank which you made with your ice pick.

2. Grab your plastic Jesus and get at least 500 feet away from the car. This will be the toughest time because you will be freezing cold and all you can do is wait, while praying to your plastic Jesus for a place in his plastic heaven, if you should die.

1. Several minutes pass, and you'll suddenly notice the cotton ignite in the box, setting the box on fire, which will then ignite the dripping gasoline. Seconds later the entire contents of your gas tank will ignite, explode, and begin to burn with a very hot fire. This is when you can walk closer to the fire and warm up. The flames and thick black smoke will alert the authorities that you are there, and they will come to assist. Best yet, the heat from the gasoline fire will melt the snow around your car so you can easily drive away after you insert the bubblegum in the hole in the gas tank, and refill the tank with gas.

Today is a great day to create your very own "Blizzard Survival Kit". Don't wait until disaster strikes, and it's too late when the authorities find your frozen dead body on the side of the road.

This road safety tip is provided as a courtesy by Mike's Auto Salvage of Sarasota, Florida.

Mike

[Pavel314]

I would burn the spare tire to attract attention instead of setting the whole car on fire.

Paul

[Ed Pawlowski]

Many cars today no longer come with a spare tire, just a can of Fix-a-flat type stuff. You have to take a wheel off.

[Reggie]

next time there is a blizzard in Sarasota Florida, we will all be prepared.

[IGot2P]

As of August 2014 these cars did not come with a spare tire according to Consumer Reports:

Acura RLX Audi TT Buick LaCrosse Cadillac CTS Cadillac SRX Cadillac XTS Chevrolet Camaro Chevrolet Malibu Chevrolet Spark Chevrolet Volt Dodge Caliber Dodge Dart Fiat 500 Ford C-Max Ford Focus Ford Fusion Ford Mustang Honda Accord Hyundai Accent Hyundai Elantra Hyundai Sonata Hyundai Veloster Infiniti G Kia Forte Kia Rio Kia Soul Land Rover Range Rover Sport Mazda MX-5 Miata Mitsubishi i-MiEV Nissan Leaf Porsche 911 Porsche Boxster Porsche Panamera Scion iQ Smart ForTwo Toyota Prius Volvo C70 Volvo S60 ...and probably some not listed.

[philo]

Mike's

When I was a kid I read a story about a business man driving home in a snowstorm and eventually the snow was so deep and the visibility was so poor he could drive no more.

He had a warm jacket so would not freeze and he had plenty of treats that he was bringing for his family so he knew he'd be OK.

He really tried not to eat the treats but the hunger got to him and he needed the energy to keep himself warm...so by morning he had eaten everything.

The sun was now out and the snow had stopped...so he got out of the car to get his bearing.

He was parked in front of his own house!

[Stormin Mormon]

Makes more sense than most of what's on this list. Thank you.

- . Christopher A. Young learn more about Jesus .

. .

[Ed Pawlowski]

My 2013 Sonata has a spare but would not be surprised it it is eliminated. I've not driven on a spare for over 30 years until last December when I had a gash in the sidewall. I'd have been screwed without one. The free Roadside Assistance was nice to on a cold night.

[clare]

Heard basically the same story, but the guy didn't stay in his car. He got out and tried to walk home. In the morning his wife found the car parked less than 10 feet from the house - next day they found his body half a mile away in a snow drift, frozen solid.

STAY IN THE CAR - at least untill the storm stops.

Part of the blizzard kit should be a telescopic handle like they sell for paint rollers, and a reflective flag to tie to it with your name and licence number on it to identify where the car is buried in the snow drift, and a box of candles for heat. -a good blanket or sleeping bag too. It's all in the back of my pickup - within reach of the sliding window between the cab and the box - also in the trunk of the Taurus - where it can be reached through the back seat pass-through to the trunk.

[Doctor WTF]

Can't believe no one caught this little piece of wisdom?

How do you refill and drive away a car that blew up and burned to the ground?

[Tony Hwang]

I am surre it is a joke.

[philo]

The story I related was fictional

but people do freeze to death if they get out and walk.

There was one news item I read recently about a woman who froze solid but miraculously survived after they thawed her out,

[Jerry.Tan]

That whole story was about the stupidest thing I ever read..... THe spare tire makes more sense, but why not just carry some flares.

Much cheaper, much safer, adn better for the environment too!

[Jerry.Tan]

They always say to STAY IN THE CAR, which makes sense if the car still runs. But if it wont run, you can freeze inside the car too.

Years ago, my fuel pump quit working. I was about 3 miles from home, out in the country on a gravel road around midnight. Cellphones were rare back then and I did not have one. It was very cold and windy and there was a lot of blowing snow. But with no fuel pump, the engine was not going to start. I know no one would likely drive by there till 5 or

6am or later. I knew the road well, and knew there were 4 houses along the way, but they are all older people, so waking them up was doubtful.

I decided to try to walk it. Halfway home I was starting to feel weak and knew I was not going to make it. I was near a farmhouse, but I knew the elderly people had moved to town, and there may or may not be anyone at the house. I began walking toward the house when I heard their cattle in the barn, which was closer to me than the house. I went into the barn, and it was warmer and not windy, but I was damn cold. Although I have had horses most of my life, I have never had much experience with cows. But it did not take me long to walk up to a cow and warm myself against her. After warming up, I walked around the barn, found an old calf blanket, wrapped that around me, and that's when I saw a phone on the wall. But I soon found out the phone was dead.

I just stayed in that barn until dawn, and was not sure what sort of reaction I'd get when the farmer walked in, but I was not going to freeze. But thats when I noticed the wind and snow had stopped, so I walked the rest of the way home. I later called the farmer, told him what happened, and told him I borrowed that calf blanket. He said he was glad I was ok, and told me to just bring the blanket back whenever I could, which I did that same day, after having a friend tow my car home.

[Stormin Mormon]

Yes, this is totally possible. What an ending.

- . Christopher A. Young learn more about Jesus .

. .

[philo]

Glad you made it. I usually have several blankets in my car.

[Moe DeLoughan]

Sounds like an updated version of Pa being trapped in a snowbank in one of the Little House books. He'd walked back from town with candy for Laura and Mary in his pocket, and he got so hungry, he ended up eating it. When the storm died down and he dug himself out, he found he was just a short distance from their shanty.

[bob_villa]

Of course the "frozen solid" is an exaggeration...her core temperature was in the 70's. Still, the "mammalian effect" is astounding!

[(PeteCresswell)]

Per [e-mail]:

Nobody has mentioned snowmobile suits.

Where I live it's not even that cold - but around Thanksgiving I throw a nylon duffel bag into the back seat that contains, among other things, a snowmobile suit. Dunno how cold it has to be to freeze to death in one of those things, but they are quite a bit warmer compared to regular pants/coat.

[philo]

When I was in the Army and had to stand guard duty in the German winters we were issued arctic clothing.

I kept most of it and have walked for miles in -20F without getting cold.

One such day I walked down to the lake and there was still plenty of open water and I saw ducks swimming in it.

Now /that/ made me freeze just thinking about it.