insulation winter wish list for home

buffalo ny: darkens when cold to absorb sun, reflective in hot summer temps, it's a a decorative photo-sensitive whole house roof shower cap and matching wall wrap outside the house as a windbreak, and put a machete at each window and doorway to chop your way out in case of fire, or maybe zippers... other heating season favorites a giant helium-filled fireproof weather balloon with motion sensor led mood lighting adjustable by remote in each room to reduce the heat requirements of the cubic footage... and always searching for the giant fireproof optically clear bubble pack for window treatments with maximum insulation factor... don't let me forget self insulating interior wall paint... self-darkening room blinds that are made from a room air freshening ionizing compound so powerful yet inexpensive which redoubles itself in window sunlight but only for 50 years... perpetual motion decorative windmill makes so much electricity from everyday readily available tap water you can retire with the check the electric company sends you each month!... it's available in either the mechanically animated jackass kicking a man resembling the homeowner in the head for not thinking of this sooner model, or the always popular idea balloon which over-inflates bursts into a comical fart noise to endlessly amuse your neighbors as it whimsically punctuates their wind chimes... don't let me forget the flowbee add-on that lets you turn the family hair clippings into amazing free attic insulation, as used for years on the international space station, you'll have so much leftover insulation you'll be able to heat a block party outdoor winter circus tent for 23 years using a 100 watt light bulb! i should go look on Google to see what's really new? :) happy new year! -b
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