I can't afford to pay for the repairs

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I'm a professional handyman. I have my own business, called Jim's Handyman Service. I have been in business for many years. But lately the work is slim due to the economy. This has allowed me to do the many repairs needed on my own home. Everytime I complete a job, I write out a bill to myself, the same way I charge my customers. The problem is that I can no longer afford to pay myself. I'm in debt for almost $50,000 to myself. I asked the bank for a loan, and promised to repay the debt in short order, but they said that they thought the debt was senseless and said that my income has not been good enough lately to repay such a large loan. I then asked them for a second mortgage on my home, (appraised and valued at $179,000), but this time they told me to just go home and fix my toilet or something. What do I do? The interest on this debt alone is going to wipe me out, since I charge 24% interest on unpaid bills after 30 days, and most of this debt is beyond 90 days, which means that I can begin legal forclosure action against the property. It won't be long before I lose my home. Even if I use up all of my retirement savings, I will only be able to pay about 35% of this debt, and if I take all my credit cards to their limit, I will still only cover a total of about 50%. Does anyone know a legitimate solution to this? Please help me before it's too late !
Thank You kindly,
Jim's Handyman Service - Orlando FL.
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On Jan 3, 3:52 am, Jim's Handyman Service

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Who do you think you (well your company!) are?
Enron or GMC or something. Or a large (irresponsible) bank?
The solution is to pay yourself a large bonus, based on the decision of the board of directors (yourself) then; a) Go to the government for a handout. b) After a few months, sell off any remaining worth in the business paying yourself an inflated salary during the intervening period and then declare bankruptcy.
Make sure you move to some non US tax haven before completing this process.
However if along the way do have to appear before congressional or senate committee admit nothing. Also before travelling to attend such hearings contact your local senator to make sure you have support 'For a local industry in their voting area'.
Travel by bus or old looking car to attend such hearings; a private jet (or boat) looks ostentatious!
If you need any additional advice we are located 'out of country' and our fees, being in Canadian dollars, also dragged down in value by this whole credit mess, are reasonable!
There are also European and Swiss advisers available for this kind of 'Bail out' situation.
Signed. Small Fry, Watt Me, and Res Ponsible, Partners in Legal (Well barely) and Accounting Services Inc. Political lobbying a speciality. ' We make your case for you'. Lobbying costs not included in regular fee scale.
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news:3d103328-72f7-4d81-b6a5-
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Who do you think you (well your company!) are?
Enron or GMC or something. Or a large (irresponsible) bank?
The solution is to pay yourself a large bonus, based on the decision of the board of directors (yourself) then; a) Go to the government for a handout. b) After a few months, sell off any remaining worth in the business paying yourself an inflated salary during the intervening period and then declare bankruptcy.
Make sure you move to some non US tax haven before completing this process.
However if along the way do have to appear before congressional or senate committee admit nothing. Also before travelling to attend such hearings contact your local senator to make sure you have support 'For a local industry in their voting area'.
Travel by bus or old looking car to attend such hearings; a private jet (or boat) looks ostentatious!
If you need any additional advice we are located 'out of country' and our fees, being in Canadian dollars, also dragged down in value by this whole credit mess, are reasonable!
There are also European and Swiss advisers available for this kind of 'Bail out' situation.
Signed. Small Fry, Watt Me, and Res Ponsible, Partners in Legal (Well barely) and Accounting Services Inc. Political lobbying a speciality. ' We make your case for you'. Lobbying costs not included in regular fee scale.
============= Thanks for the laugh.
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On Fri, 2 Jan 2009 23:34:04 -0800 (PST), terry

snip
More like develop a better business plan so that you can remain viable. At least that is what congress wanted GM to do.
It's like this.You are obviously charging to much. Foreign completion does not pay as well so how can you compete? You should fall in line and pay yourself an illegal aliens wage.
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On Jan 3, 1:52 am, Jim's Handyman Service

Rent a jet, fly to Washington and ask for a bailout.
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On Fri 02 Jan 2009 11:52:39p, Jim's Handyman Service told us...

Burn your house down and collect the insurance. Uh, that may not be legitimate.
--
Wayne Boatwright
(correct the spelling of "geemail" to reply)
  Click to see the full signature.
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snip > Even if I use up all of my retirement savings, I will only be able to

Yes just sublet half of your home to your handyman and hire a tax consultant with paranoid personality.
(and thank you for a good laugh!)
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Remind them that as a taxpayer you are now part owner of the bank. You have a voice in who gets loans.
Besides, once AIG starts paying back the money they owe, the government will be sending us our share and you'll have plenty of money to pay your debt. That will happens soon so don't worry.
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But...nobody seems to know which banks got the bailout money, and apparently the banks don't know either. ;-)
Cheri
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Cheri wrote:

But why is that important? The only really important thing is that both the red and blue folks worked together to pull the money out of our pockets to bail out the fat cats. That is cooperation at its finest...
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Pull money out of out pockets?
The way I see it, they just go pull money out of their asses and by some strange parallel phenomena we feel things being shoved up our asses at the same time.
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On Jan 3, 12:52 am, Jim's Handyman Service

The guy you are working for 'yourself" is a nut deadbeat. He wont pay, look in the mirror and you will know why. Plus you overcharge.
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you can find someone like you and charge him $50,000. Oh, don't forget to send me a half because I own this idea.
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write it off,take the tax deduction..
---------------------------------------------------------------- http://www.minibite.com/america/malone.htm
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Jim's Handyman Service wrote:

We aren't interested in novices like you. Develop a track record showing where you have massively profited by screwing lots of folks but due to "conditions beyond your control" you are unable to pay your $50 Million bonus and we will gladly help you out.
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Jim's Handyman Service wrote:

Get a large government loan then file for bankruptcy just like the big boys. Then give yourself a large million dollar bonus and go to Bermuda.
--
<<//--------------------\>>
Van Chocstraw
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On Jan 3, 12:52 am, Jim's Handyman Service

My advice would be to get a lawyer (a really low down blood sucking bottom feeder type lawyer) and sue the guy for all he is worth. If that doesn't work hire a debt collector.......
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Ask Big Lips for a bailout. You qualify more than most of the ones getting them. It's not YOUR fault, but some evil Republican's.
Steve
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On Jan 3, 1:52 am, Jim's Handyman Service

24%? No wonder business is 'slim'.. uh..Jim?
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On Sat, 03 Jan 2009 00:52:39 -0600, Jim's Handyman Service

Of course, the logical choice is to get a loan you absolutely can not re-pay then use the money to pay off your debts. The real problem is that something is seriously missing in your business and/or you are unwilling to make some serious changes to get customers.
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