How to use a breast pump?

Last weekend I bought myself a breast pump at a chain store that was going out of business. It looked like something fun to own, so I bought it. Now that the weekend is here, I just took it out the box and am trying to use it, but I found out there are no instructions and the business is now closed forever. I just called my mother and my ex-wife and neither of them have ever used one. Can anyone tell me how?
Thank You
Robert W. Jacobs
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"Park's closed! Moose out front should have told you......."
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snipped-for-privacy@yaho-o.com, 7/9/2005, 3:17:33 AM, wrote:

You put it up to your face and make sure you cover both your mouth and nose. Start pumping and try to suck out all your brains with it. As a second option you might try to use it as an artificial vagina since there are no women in your life now.
--
No matter what happens someone will find a way to take it too seriously.


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This question is very frequently asked in this newsgroup. I am sure you can find an answer if you Google this group's archives.
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Put it on your johnson and turn it on!

can
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On Sat, 09 Jul 2005 02:17:33 -0500, snipped-for-privacy@yaho-o.com wrote:

Examine your breast. You should find a valve like the kind on your car tires there somewhere. Attach the tube from pump to the valve (technical term: schrader valve). Pump away. If you can't find the valve, you have a factory sealed breast and are out of luck. Sell the pump on ebay.
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On Sat, 09 Jul 2005 22:09:47 -0400, Paul Franklin

Cool, I found the valve. Now how many pounds should I put in. I dont want an explosion.
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Just put in enough so that your cheeks start to feel a littly puffy. That should hold you over until next month.
On Sun, 10 Jul 2005 05:17:12 -0500, snipped-for-privacy@yaho-o.com wrote:

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Hook it up to your asshole and pull your head out of your ass.
Tom

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