You really don't want to do this in an ordinary room. Just think of
all the places evidence can accumulate; haven't you been watching CSI?
Painted drywall is absorbent. Tile, vinyl, or, (don't even think it)
carpet will never come clean. Wallpaper? Just as bad as paint. What
about wall switches--go look at one and count the grooves where
something could get stuck. Finished? Worse than you thought, isn't
You need to build a work area for your task. Concrete floor, walls,
and ceiling with radiused corners, painted with several coats of marine
epoxy. SS table, NEMA 4X for any lighting and electrical fixtures
(keep to a minimum!) and double entry door with washdown seals on both
doors. Outside the room, pressure washer, with outlet in the room
(stainless quick-disconnect in NEMA4x receptacle; yes they make
compressed air and process water fittings for these), floor drain (with
fine screen), and sump (with valve prior to sewer line) after the
Clothing should be destroyed with the uneaten body parts (no
synthetics), or slaughter & butchering could be performed without
After you've selected the cuts for your meal, bag them and do a
complete washdown with bleach, let sit for half an hour, then another
washdown with water. Washdown should include the inside and outside of
the inner door, ceiling, walls, table, & fixtures, floor, and inner
surfaces of the sump. Work high to low, door to drain. Sump must
contain entire wash. Add calcium hypochlorite to the sump and let sit
overnight, then drain the sump to the sewer.
A couple of polyethylene or SS barrels with drain valves piped to the
sump should be sufficient for the larger particles. Clothing, bones,
uneaten carcass, and larger chunks caught by the floor drain screen go
into the first barrel. Lye will liquefy the flesh, then bones can be
fished out and dissolved in hydrochloric acid in the second barrel.
Heat will accelerate the process, of course. Barrels and contents get
washed down with the washdown procedure after liquification is
It would be environmentally responsible to neutralize the effluent; Lye
and hydrochloric acid will produce salt and water; just test the pH.
Bleach can be neutralized with sodium thiosulfate.
This should take care of any evidence, but you're really going to have
to keep an eye on developments in forensic science. Those bastards
keep coming up with new stuff.
Oh, the chainsaw--I understand it's a lot of fun to use, but, really,
it's impossible to clean! Do you have to use a chainsaw? Maybe a
hatchet or axe? You can get a steel handle welded onto an axe head and
just autoclave the thing each time. Otherwise, you should really buy a
new chainsaw each time (pay cash & buy out of town!), because thorough
sterilization will probably ruin the saw.
If you prefer to cook your meal, get an electric self-cleaning oven and
some high-temperature cookware, table setting (or settings--do you
entertain?), and flatware. Corelle and corningware, both made by
Corning glass works are excellent. After dinner, put it all in the
oven (including the prep) and run a cleaning cycle. If you find you
get too much smoke, you can always sterilize with bleach instead. You
really should run a cleaning cycle in the oven, though, since you don't
want to bleach inside there.
If you follow these procedures, you should do just fine. I'm sure the
police will be very interested in the purpose of the room and
equipment, but it's not illegal per se, so you really don't have to
give them any answers.
Well, have fun, and happy hunting!