That's Satan, telling you he's there.
CY: I'm remembering the story of the little boy in sunday
school. The teacher asks where God lives. Little boy raises
his hand. Teacher calls on him. God lives in my house in the
bathroom. Teacher is puzzled. Little boy explains that this
morning, his Dad is banging on the door and hollering "My
God! My God! Are you still in there!" And some what related
to the story, the squeaky hinge at my church is on a
That's Satan playing tricks. What's the name of that guy
Pay your dues to Satan.
CY: Works for me. Shall I sacrifice virgins, or burn goats,
or maybe the flaming cross with plenty of citronella oil on
the parking lot of the church?
I had hoped to give some repair advice too, but you've got
You did what I would do.
CY: You want to bring a pentagram, and we'll have a seance?
Fraud? Do you really expect God expects us to distinguish between a
"miracle" and an entertainment magic show?
Consider Jesus. Jesus was who He was because of who He was and the miracles
he performed mean nothing. First, He did nothing that hadn't been done
before. For example, He fed the multitudes with a couple of fish and a few
bread loaves. Moses fed 300,000 with stuff that dropped from the skys.
Siegfried & Roy can feed a couple of thousand by passing out buffet tickets.
No, miracles don't prove squat. And anybody who relies on them as evidence
of divinity has been fooled.
Regarding "miracles," I refer you to Deuteronmy 13:1
If someone makes a "miracle" and tells you to worship other gods, even if
the miracle or sign comes true ... that prophet or dream-diviner shall be
put to death...
Point is, it's what the dude SAYS that implies divine guidance, not what he
I consider myself a lay-expert on religion. Heck, I even translated the New
Testament into Morse Code ("The translation for the scholar who has every
other translation"). Regrettably, this work suffered the same fate as my
previous book: "Toilet-Tissue Origami - The Ultimate Book for the John".
I believe publishers have no business sense. None at all.
But... what's art without suffering?
Lets see. A slam, then a lie, then an accusation, and then
discouragement, and telling me not to try. Hmm. And, who do
you sound like?
Who said "if thou be the Christ, throw yourself down"?
Answer: Satan, the deceiver. That's who you sound like.
Wax might be a better choice. Melt the wax, mix in some graphite, dip the
disassembled hinge parts that have been cleaned (carb/brake cleaner) and
dried, and then reassemble after cleaning the wax off the outside of the
That would probably be effective and long lasting, but messy.
You might do almost as well taking the hinges apart and smearing on some
chap-stick with a q-tip.
About the time I had mastered getting the toothpaste back in the tube, then
I use Industrial Chain Lube on stuff like that.
Gunk L716 Liquid Wrench Industrial Chain Lube can
be found at most auto parts stores, it's not for
O-ring type bike chains there's another one for
Do it right, and you won't need to do it again for many years.
Take the door down, clean out the hinge leaves and pins. There may be
some filthy particulate crud involved, so cover the floor/carpet. The
cleaning part is important, that dry powder residue is very abrasive.
Plain old white grease is a fantastic lube for this application (and
outdoor hinges as well). A small tube will do a lot of doors. Put a thin
coat on the pins and hinge leave bores.. a swab works well for the
bores. Don't neglect the top and bottom edges of the (thrust) load
bearing leaves. Don't over do it, or it'll be messy later. Put it back
together and thats it.
I once had a girlfriend who's front door hinges were so dry it was
physically hard to move her door... noisy too.
Anyway, I offered to lube the door, and she accepted. I pulled it down
and did the big number. There was probably a table spoon of dry rust
spooge that came out of those massive hinges...
Shortly after she called demanding the squeaks back... complained she
couldn't sleep fearing someone might now sneak in, and that light
breezes blew the door around when she left it open.
You can't win... solved the 'new' problems with a bell and doorstop.
I believe you are exactly right. One day, I'll have to try
the screws (metal jamb) and see if they want to come out. As
intermediate answer, I'm going to see if the hinge pins come
out, and dab in some grease.
I knew a watch repairman who found his squeaky hinge useful,
as a door alert.
Another thought... could the 'groaning' you describe be coming from the
closer? Can you disconnect it's linkage and operate independently of the
door to test?
A good 'poor man's' stethoscope is to put a screwdriver blade up to the
suspected noisy component, and while operating, put your ear up to the
screwdriver handle. Use common sense and good judgment if listening to
hazardous equipment this way.
It's very possible. I ought to try that. I did hold my head
near the door, and from what I can tell, it's the center or
lower hinge. I have dealt with squeaky and noisy door
closers many times, over the years.
On Fri, 26 Mar 2010 19:38:13 -0400, Stormin Mormon wrote:
Hmm, get something with a straight edge about the same height as the door
- check the frame and hinges for alignment. Maybe something's shifted;
you might be able to tell which hinge is squeaking* and shim it with a
metal shim to bring it back into line.
* a long bit of rubber tube held up to the ear works well for detecting
where noises are coming from, too...
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