Please forgive my husband Doggie for this recent rash of posts regarding
his hatred for animals, and dogs in particular.
You see, he can't really help himself. Ever since he was a child he's
held a distinct resentment against dogs due to the fact that his parents
(god rest their christian souls) kept him tied up under the front porch.
You can only imagine how hard it's been for Doggie all these years to
not hate dogs when he's always believed himself to be some sort of
mutant doganoid, eating dog chow, treating on pig ears, and humping
every leg he gets close to. My how the little fella loves those pig
ears, he does.
So I humbly plead with you all to take pity on my Doggie and ignore his
rantings. Just throw him a bone now and then and remember, even though
he thinks he's a mutt he still can't lick his own balls. God knows he
tries! In fact if you'll take the time to review this pic of Doggie
you'll see the lengths at which I have to go to restrain most of the time.
I really believe that this inordinate desire of Doggie's to suck himself
off 'coupled' with the fact that he can't, just drives him near to
insanity. I believe with all my heart that this jealousy of his towards
them is what causes him to hate animals so much.
Thanks for your understanding and may god bless you.
Sincerely, Mrs Kanter