I got a call from "windows support" today telling me I had a problem with my machine. Normally I just tell them to perform an unnatural act with their mother but today I decided I would play along as long as they would let me. This "english as a second language" guy gave me the "grave danger pitch and then started telling me to type in a web address and I said it keeps saying "bad file or command name". He asked what was on my PC screen and I said "C:>" They had me reboot a couple times and I made that take a long time, "wait, I need to set the clock" etc. They got second level involved and he asked how I get to the internet and I said I just use E-mail. He asked how I do that and I said AOL. He kept telling me there must be an internet address bar there and I said I don't see one and I have never used it. He asked what version of AOL I was using and I said I don't see a version, it just says "AOL for DOS". He asked what kind of machine I had and I said "IBM Personal Computer XT". I acted confused when they asked me about the OS. I said it was the one that was on it when I bought the machine in 1985. After a minute or two of violent keyboard clicking I said "DOS 2.1" After another guy got on the phone, they finally asked me if I had windows and I told them "no, that was the tool of satan". They hung up.
I tied up 2 or 3 guys for 15 minutes. Maybe they will take me off their list now.