I'll wager YOU'VE never awakened in a strange, Beaumont, Texas, motel room
with a Spanish-language marriage certificate on the bureau, your wallet
missing, and a note reading "Have gone shopping. Back soon. Love,
A skunk would have been better.
Or Martin Mull:
And I just drank enough 'til she looked good to me
In the morning I was sorry that I had drank it
Wakin' up where I did not intend to be
Face to face with a pig in a blanket!
My friends said "Roy, you'd much better off to just go home and
But no, not me. Man and wife, with a pig in a blanket
From Perfect/Near Perfect, probably his best album.
"Distracting a politician from governing
is like distracting a bear from eating your baby."
When some friends moved into a new house, I installed a cat door so
their cat could go down into the basement but the dog couldn't.
The baby is due in July.
I'd better make sure my umbrella policy is up to date.
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