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Stormin Mormon wrote:
>> Ever actually read your sig and consider what it means?

Top posting fixed.
Sure, he had answers like that but wouldn't have responded that way during normal interaction with others.
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I dunno. Maybe he had a few more zippy answers that didn't get written down?
--
Christopher A. Young
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He lives down the way from me, and mows my lawn. Musta been his part time job when the kids were in school, and crack wasn't selling all that well.
--
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Stormin Mormon wrote:

You shouldn't have asked:
1. "Heh! We find, as the population gets older, more and more people forget their combinations! I hope they don't discover keys, 'cause we make a pretty good living off of the addled."
2. "I forget. Probably."
3. "Only if: a) They're good lookin' or b) We're desperate."
4. "We're the only shop in town that can do metric combination locks!"
5. "Only if the numbers on the dial don't exceed 120. Above that, it's too hot to work on."
6. "Depends... What's the combination?"
7. "I'd rather work on a combination lock than fuck!"
8. "Yes, but I need to warn you up front that combination locks are like muskrats - there is no way to turn them into a nutritious meal."
9. "Vanilla and cinnamon ones are pretty straightforward; its the teal and taupe ones that cause warts."
10. "Sigh. New Homeland Security regulations under the Patriot Act require us to log and report all attempts to defeat combination locks. May I please have your name..."
If you need more suggestions, I'll be glad to show you the video of the night the cat learned to open the gerbil cage.
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Now, that's the spirit. Blame the government.
Gerbil cage? Was it a combination lock?
--
Christopher A. Young
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*I politely return their call and tell them nicely that I don't do that type of work, but if I know someone who does I will refer them. I also let them know that they can call me for electrical work in the future. Everyone is a potential customer if not now then at some time in the future.
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Stormin Mormon wrote:

Do you do key locks?
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Snotty answer. I got one from a firm I was doing $4k a year with them. Now that goes to someone else. WW
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On Apr 30, 11:18pm, "Stormin Mormon"

I have a standard answer for people like *that*:
"Yes, I do, but not for idiots like you."
In fact, my print ads and website specifically state that I don't do jobs for idiots. They either have to know exactly what they want and they must word their requirements exactly the way I want them to or I tell them to go pound sand.
Sometimes I'm not even that nice. "Go pound sand" can be worded in ways that really insult the idiots who contact me with their stupid questions and ignorant requests.
BTW You should see my print ads and website. They're really nice. I spend a lot of time tweeking them, making them better and better all the time. I can do that because business has been pretty slow.
It must be the economy.
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On Thu, 30 Apr 2009 23:18:55 -0400, against all advice, something
to say:

How would Jesus snark?
--

Real men don\'t text.



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My favourite peeve with answering machines is people who won't leave a message but simply say "Call me." I provide a machine so they can give me something to work with so that my call to them isn't a waste of time for all of us, especially if they have an answer machine and we both just call back and forth doing nothing but leaving "call me" messages.
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Yes, it's possible to go back and forth a couple times with the "call me" routine. That's another moment when a snippy answer might goad them into action.
--
Christopher A. Young
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The proper zippy reply for this one is, "Only when I'm awake."
-Frank
--
Here\'s some of my work:
http://www.franksknives.com /
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Chris,
It sounds like you have been working with the public much too long. You and I should both find different jobs.
Colbyt
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I hear yah. I've also done factory work, which is often just as bad. I've got a couple referral companies. Great work, but a whole different set of people problems.
--
Christopher A. Young
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On Thu, 30 Apr 2009 23:18:55 -0400, "Stormin Mormon"

I got a call one early morning, as I manned the phones.
"This is Morton Dean of CBS News, New York!" "What can you tell me about the Haitians?" (circa 1980)
Me: "Well Morton, I can't tell you *damn* thing!" "Here is the number for the immigration detention facility."
Gave him the number and he never called me back.
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