I got a call on the answering machine. For my locksmith business. "Do you do combination locks?"
Well, gee, lets see. Does the caller have a safe, vault, padlock, bicycle lock, keyless car entry, gunsafe, briefcase, firesafe, or a kids toy safe?
Does the caller want me to find another lock with the same numbers? Find another lock with different combination? Find the lost combination? Change the numbers? Change the combination to match someting else?
I'm looking for a reply question that highlights how vague that is, and a bit snotty. Ideally, I'd also like it to be useful for the two or three customers who call each week and want to know if I do car locks.
At the moment, I'm thinking of "Do you have some food to eat?" or "do you have a leaf off a tree?" or "do you wear a hat?" I guess those are objects.
Maybe better is "Do you interact with people?" "Do you prepare food or drink?" "Do you do lawn work?" I havn't found the really zippy reply, yet. Do you do zippy replies?
Unless you are booked solid, and the only locksmith in town, you need the customer more than the customer needs you. Act accordingly. Proper reply when you call back is 'Well, that depends. What kind of combination lock are you needing help with?'
How does a smart alecky, "Slightly snotty" reply do any good or help any business? What such an uncharitable and one might say, 'Unchristian' answer might imply is the following.
"Well I'm a pretty superior sort of person An expert in my field.Your question is poorly worded and incomplete. Not sure I can deal with you".
Yup; nothing better calculated to personally turn me off from doing business with you. The question is a perfectly reasonable one. It merely opens a conversation; leading to whether the locksmith is mobile, does the locksmith travel to your location etc. etc. The expression 'No such thing as a stupid question ......' comes to mind.
It also opens the possibility for the locksmith to do some coaching of the potential customer, depending on the amount time available etc.
It is now a few years since we ceased operating a small business; but still get phone calls (got one tonight in fact for potential business next Dec 17th) often saying something along the lines of "We were so pleased with your help and obliging service that we are calling again for ................... Oh; sorry that you are no longer in business!".
We were in that business from 1970 to 2004. Sometimes dealing with two or more generations of the same family!
Maybe an appropriate reply would be "Thank you for your enquiry of ...... Very happy to discuss your requirement and if it's within our capability and resources and time available, maybe we can be of assistance/service".
That leaves door open to declining the work if it's not reasonable, unprofitable etc. Also how on earth does one know how much business is or is/not out there if callers get 'turned off' and don't call. Or worse the locksmith doesn't call back! Or whenthey do have a 'snotty' attitude
In another business previous to the one already mentioned (in the
1950s to 1960s) we established a reputation for service and fair dealing in the tube TV repair business (Yes! Villainous TV repair!) Such that many years later it was mentioned time and again when we were elected twice, to local town councils and served our municipality, without remuneration in that capacity for nearly ten years. A very rewarding experience btw.
In most parts of the English speaking world there are expressions such as; "What goes around, comes around". In other words 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'. No wonder somebody needs to "Learn more about Jesus"!
How much better to have someone say "Such an obliging person, that locksmith; and once he got here he that lock fixed in jig time". The message coming across as; he is good at what he does, he is obliging therefore he's in demand and is busy. So we were lucky we called HIM for our lock work.
Aw heck! (Won't say he**) Here endeth the lesson.
Just go and buy a new lock; forget calling a locksmith.
In your head you reply with a simple "Yes". and wait for the next question.
In real life, you pick up the phone, call the customer & say "We do lots of things to combinations locks, Mrs. Smith. what's your pleasure?"
Because, although the customer is not necessarily always right. . . they are never, ever, wrong.
Jim [and if you can't pull off the 'you're the bestest person in the whole world, Mrs. smith' lie with conviction, then get out of retail. you're only torturing yourself and the people you come in contact with]
I've had dealings with an obtuse local locksmith who has my phone number listed at a business website. Every couple of months I get a call for his services and in spite of my talking to the locksmith and emailing and faxing him, the error has not been corrected. Another great business man.
"Heh! We find, as the population gets older, more and more people forget their combinations! I hope they don't discover keys, 'cause we make a pretty good living off of the addled."
"I forget. Probably."
"Only if: a) They're good lookin' or b) We're desperate."
"We're the only shop in town that can do metric combination locks!"
"Only if the numbers on the dial don't exceed 120. Above that, it's too hot to work on."
"Depends... What's the combination?"
"I'd rather work on a combination lock than f*ck!"
"Yes, but I need to warn you up front that combination locks are like muskrats - there is no way to turn them into a nutritious meal."
"Vanilla and cinnamon ones are pretty straightforward; its the teal and taupe ones that cause warts."
"Sigh. New Homeland Security regulations under the Patriot Act require us to log and report all attempts to defeat combination locks. May I please have your name..."
If you need more suggestions, I'll be glad to show you the video of the night the cat learned to open the gerbil cage.
*I politely return their call and tell them nicely that I don't do that type of work, but if I know someone who does I will refer them. I also let them know that they can call me for electrical work in the future. Everyone is a potential customer if not now then at some time in the future.
The caller inquiring "Do you do combination locks?" was probably only a maintenance supervisor from a large apartment complex who only wanted a few hundred mailbox locks redone. Certainly you don't need that kind of business.
Or he has a hotel on the ocean and is thinking of changing 300 locks, and gives rooms and boat free to friends when they are avalaible. Once I got a call about painting 1 lousy door, It turned out to be 130 doors, I restored brass hardware and sprayed them for a nice hotel, the place kept me busy for years until they hired a full time live in painter. If an add says "We do Locks", you do locks, and look for commercial jobs where you can eat for years. There is nothing better than big jobs where you get alot done.
In fact, my print ads and website specifically state that I don't do jobs for idiots. They either have to know exactly what they want and they must word their requirements exactly the way I want them to or I tell them to go pound sand.
Sometimes I'm not even that nice. "Go pound sand" can be worded in ways that really insult the idiots who contact me with their stupid questions and ignorant requests.
BTW You should see my print ads and website. They're really nice. I spend a lot of time tweeking them, making them better and better all the time. I can do that because business has been pretty slow.
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