Enough of this goofiness. We have dumber issues to tackle where 100 of us tell guys like you about stuff you clearly said in the first place you weren't interested in. Try these direct links:
Hammacher Schlemmer
Frontgate
AJS
Original message still applies.
AJS
Hokey smokes! ($1 RJ Squirrel) A ladder from *Hammacher Schlemmer* ?? Hell, he can just send *me* that stack of $100 bills, I'll go find him a ladder and ship it to him, and throw a party with the leftover bucks!
Let's hope he picks the 2nd one! LMAO
See what you get from complete strangers because your local Home Depot's ordering manager is asleep at the wheel? Funny thing is, the Hammacher ladder doesn't cost significantly more than the second one, if I recall right. Both ladders run just under two bills. I dunno -- maybe Hammacher is slumming these days or something.
But what the heck -- Hammacher's got hovercraft. Who wouldn't dig one of those?
AJS
By the by, would you happen to be any relation to I-Peesed M'drurz?
If so, your family really does need to do something about your pricing on a liter of Pepsi and a quart of generic vodka. Or is the 2,000 percent mark-up just to cover the risk of the sawed-off shotgun stowed under the counter for bodega self-defense?
And you folks really do need to make better music videos, too. They remind me of the old kung-fu movies from the 1970s.
(Note to the PC/levity-impaired: Find something else to whine about. You've annoyed the rest of us far too long as it is.)
AJS
Third cousin, twice removed. But you may know my step brother, Hu'sbein Fa-rtin and her husband M'balz Is-hari.
Somebody has to pay for those half dozen coffee creamers and three napkins you use every time you buy a cup of coffee! And you moron American bastards, those Pepsi coolers have glass doors on them, you can see what you want, but you stand there with the thing hanging open for 45 seconds while you buy your Goddamned Diet Cherry Mountain Dew, and do you think the fuggin' electric company runs those compressors for FREE???!
No more sawed offs, too messy. Takes a half a day to clean the place up if we waste somebody. What you Americans call a "one two punch" is my standard procedure these days: A bigass blast of pepper spray to the eyes followed by a genuine autographed Sammy Sosa Louisville Slugger to the head. While they're screaming and clawing at their eyes, you can send them off to subdermal hematoma city with one good swing. Pretty tough for them to rob my cousin Ah-poo from a wheelchair with a drool cup taped to their chin! HTH.
Your family tree is far too complex for me to keep track of, even with the most advanced geneology software. Maybe if you people just quit breeding like rats ...
Who you trying to con, Sahib? Glass-doored coolers my ass. You guys just stack the cases outside the front door. The bags of ice that *are* actually behind cooler doors and have a significantly lower MSRP, on the other hand, you guys guard with your lives. But then again, retailing has never been my strong point.
BTW, don't judge us all by the rude behavior of our cops, senior citizens, and truck drivers when it comes to cadging free coffee creamers and napkins. Especially our old folks, who'd fill a dump truck with ketchup packets and soda-machine ice from Burger King if given the opportunity. But may I suggest moving away from that adult bookstore next door with the quarter-slot peep show if you want to see your napkin supply improve.
And you have the nerve to call yourself a knowledgeable bodega owner, given the fact that your typical gun-wielding urban youth shoot you immediately after commanding, "Open the register, motherf&%!er!!!!" Obviously, servicing Skid Row has made you complacent and unaware of the dangers lurking in general society. Either that, or you're just not keeping up with the correspondence course materials being sent to you each month from the Creepy Foreigner Corner-Store Owners' Institute.
(Man, this is fun, ain't it?)
AJS
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