"Hubert! The toilet's stopped up again!" said Esmeralda
Snark in a voice
that had not endeared her to seven husbands over the last
Hubert grunted, and slightly lowered the news paper he had
been reading. "Spng." he said out of the left side of his
mouth. The right side chomping on a very stale cigar.
"Hubert, how many times have I told you to take that damn
cigar out of your mouth when you talk to me?"
Hubert did that. He took his cigar, tapped the one and a
half inch ash off the end, into her cereal bowl, and then
took a deep breath. This threw him into a coughing spasm.
When his lungs cleared, and the red lightened up from in
front of his eyes, he said a bit more clearly:
"So plunge it, darling!". Hubert knew this would not make
him popular. But, Esmerelda had some of the most odorous
defectation he'd ever been near. He wasn't eager to go in
there. Not without a gas mask and a fume hood.