Reduce pine cones from douglas fir?

There are several douglas fir trees in my lawn that keeps dropping pine cones. There is no machine to remove them from the lawn; it requires manual labor.
Is there some fertilizer I can feed the tree to make it drop fewer cones?
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james said:

LOL
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-If a cow laughs hard, does milk come out its nose?
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Eggs Zachtly wrote:

good usenet. :)
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Jim said:

It was the funniest post I've seen on here in years. =)
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Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer?
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Try hydrogen sulfate
Under the right pH conditions the hyudrogen will be released, the cones will absorb the hydrogen, become lighter-than-air and drift away to your neighbor's yard. Problem solved.
Trader can tell you how to adjust the pH.
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JimR wrote:

is it better to just LOL at the uninformed and leave it at that or is it ok to misinform them in their already confused state?
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