Here's what we SHOULD have done :
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Be a cute 13 year old girl.
Have rich parents who indulge you.
Have them pay a professional to make a video of the lame-assed song you wrote.
Have it go viral on the Internet ( 27,000,000 downloads so far in less than a week )
Sell copies on ITunes for $ 0.99. Give Apple their 30 % cut.
Retire at 14.
Damn, if I had just thought of that soon enough, back when I was just a zygote ....