Tools Explained=20
DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat = metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and = flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project = which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it. =
WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under = the workbench with the speed of light . Also removes fingerprints and = hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, = 'Oh sh--!'
SKIL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.
PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of = blood-blisters.
BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor = touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.
HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board = principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable = motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more = dismal your future becomes.
VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt = heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer = intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.=20
OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable = objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside = the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.=20
TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood = projectiles for testing wall integrity.=20
HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground = after you have installed your new brake shoes , trapping the jack handle = firmly under the bumper.=20
BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to = cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into = the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the = outside edge.=20
TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of = everything you forgot to disconnect.=20
PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids = or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on = your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out = Phillips screw heads.=20
STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to = convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering = your palms.=20
PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or = bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.=20
HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short.=20
HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is = used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts = adjacent the object we are trying to hit.=20
UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard = cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on = contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, = collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. = Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.=20
SON-OF-A-B%#&H TOOL: (A personal favorite!) Any handy tool that you grab = and throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a B@#&H!' at the top = of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need. =
Hope you found this informative.=20