Another day at the parts house

Stormin Mormon walked into the parts house.
"You goddamn jeezy hack. Hope you got your magic underpants on."
Chris recognized the voice. Of course, it could only be Steve from Carolina Breeze. Steve was a bible thumper, and never missed a chance to hassle Chris, who always took it in good nature.
"Hey, why don't you accept Christ as your saviour, and get out of that damn cult? You're a total _____ Steve added."
Chris replied that he'd founded salvation, thanks for worrying about me. He walked up to the counter, and asked after the order he'd called in. Two start capacitors for window air conditioners. Chris proceeded to pay for the caps, using loose change.
Steve watched from the next "window" over, at the counter. Laughed, and laughed. Steve was here to purchase two condensing units for central AC, and was laughing at the small purchase.
Behind the counter, Joe put down the phone. "Milligan, again. Wants to sell us his latest software package. We keep telling him, he's got to contact the store HQ. So, Steve, what can I get you?".
On the way out of the building, Chris had to jump back. The Daring Dufas had been practicing the curb jump. This time, he managed to clear about 8 inches of air under his tires. Better than last week when Dufas had been ________.
"Good one, Doof!" Chris called, and headed back to his panel van. He set the capacitor on the floor next to the _____________ and used his cell phone to call _______________.
Just about that moment, Steve from Noon Air drove in, driving his old beat up _________ which he only drove for __________. You could tell by the look on his face, that he was __________.
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Stormin Mormon wrote:

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Stormin Mormon walked into the parts house.
"You goddamn jeezy hack. Hope you got your magic underpants on."
Chris recognized the voice. Of course, it could only be Steve from Carolina Breeze. Steve was a bible thumper, and never missed a chance to hassle Chris, who always took it in good nature.
"Hey, why don't you accept Christ as your savior, and get out of that damn cult? You're a total git Steve added."
Joe the counter man, looked up and saw the conflict about to happen. Told Steve to STFU. well, Joey had been in business since when AC meant open the window, and wasn't taking any crap from anyone. Chris told Joe that it was OK.
Chris replied that he'd founded salvation, thanks for worrying about me. He walked up to the counter, and asked after the order he'd called in. Two start capacitors for window air conditioners. Chris proceeded to pay for the caps, using loose change.
Steve watched from the next "window" over, at the counter. Laughed, and laughed. Steve was here to purchase two condensing units for central AC, and was laughing at the small purchase.
Behind the counter, Joe put down the phone. "Milligan, again. Wants to sell us his latest software package. We keep telling him, he's got to contact the store HQ. So, Steve, what can I get you?".
On the way out of the building, Chris had to jump back. The Daring Dufas had been practicing the curb jump. This time, he managed to clear about 8 inches of air under his tires. Better than last week when Dufas had been emaciated. But, packing on some weight was good. Doof normally ran about 125 pounds, and stood nearly 5 foot 3. All the guys used to call him to do crawl spaces. Only HVAC man who could fit in a 8 x 12 duct.
"Good one, Doof!" Chris called, and headed back to his panel van. He set the capacitor on the floor next to the whiskey bottle and used his cell phone to call the liquor store. What a moment to run out of grog. Told em he'd be there in a couple minutes, and meet me at the back door.
Just about that moment, Steve from Noon Air drove in, driving his old beat up Yugo which he only drove for religious reasons. You could tell by the look on his face, that he was on crack. A closer look, and you could tell he had gotten some wicked ass speedball or something. Man, that guy was really hopped up. Even the peace sign hanging from the rear view miror looked messed up, today.
In the Yugo, the news and weather was on. The guy on the radio was saying how the DEA was shutting down pot fields all over the state. Steve rolled down the window and hollered in no particular direction "Stormy, you effing hack! They are burning your effing pot fields out, hope you go into dee cees and have a fit and die!" Unfortunately, Steve knocked over his last nickel bag of weed into the carpet of the Yugo. "And I hate smoking that vacuum cleaner shit!" The last time, he'd used his shop vac to clean the weed out of the carpet, and smoked what was in the vacuum cleaner.
Stormy finally manages to focuss his eyes, about half way. Floors the gas. On the way out of the parking lot, runs over the _____________ and then a ___________ jumps out of the way of his rusty van that's wobbling down the road.
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On Fri, 17 Jul 2009 22:41:18 -0400, "Stormin Mormon"

THE END.
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The King wrote:

village idiot but most folks around here considered him to be a harmless fool. Children would tease him but a few compassionate grownups would toss him some change from time to time.
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On Sat, 18 Jul 2009 14:11:57 -0500, The Daring Dufas

    Change he can believe in !
--
Click here every day to feed an animal that needs you today !!!
www.theanimalrescuesite.com/
  Click to see the full signature.
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.p.jm.@see_my_sig_for_address.com wrote:

offered him. His alcoholism prevented him from holding down a job even though he possessed modest skills in the HVAC trade. King could never seem to behave himself around women and was always terminated shortly after being hired. The only hope for him was the faith based sobriety program being offered at the local mosque.
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Change he can believe in ! The change people tossed to him was more than anything any government agency ever offered him. His alcoholism prevented him from holding down a job even though he possessed modest skills in the HVAC trade. King could never seem to behave himself around women and was always terminated shortly after being hired. The only hope for him was the faith based sobriety program being offered at the local mosque.
The self esteem program at the mosque was far better than he had ever imagined. The King met interesting people there, and learned a few phrases in Arabic. Enough that he was able to go to other mosques, and they thought he had been Muslim all his life.
While at the mosque, he learned about foot washing, the teachings of Mohammed, and why it's all right to kill infidel, if they don't convert to the True Islam.
Now, seen in public wearing the traditional Islamic clothing, and still pulling heavily on his jug of moonshine. Doddering down the street, wondering why the children run up to him and make camel noises. Infidel, all! He angrily reached under his cloak and pulled out a...................
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Stormin Mormon wrote:

And was promptly arrested for an indecent sex act. Mohamed would be proud of him.

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The Daring Dufas wrote:

After all his failure at that program would culminate with both a loss of esteem and Head.
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the gallon jug of moonshine. He was well known as the village idiot but most folks around here considered him to be a harmless fool. Children would tease him but a few compassionate grownups would toss him some change from time to time.
Meanwhile, at the hospital, Stormy had been transferred to the HVAC guy with head injuries wing. Where he met a hard shelled guy who had fallen off a ladder years before.
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Stormin Mormon wrote:

The new Muslim religion, so effected King Mikey, that he decided that he too would post as a Stormin Mormon.

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