Writing Contest: How to Repel Dog Owners

[hal]

Why don't you put up a fence?

It'll save you a lot of trouble and grief in the long run.

Hal

[Doug Kanter]

Zoning regulations prevent putting up ENOUGH of a fence to make any difference. Besides, why should I spend thousands of dollars to compensate for someone else's lack of consideration?

[zxcvbob]

Perhaps trouble and grief are his main source of joy...

Best regards, Bob

[AussieResc]

Why are you removing the tags? By doing so you just put the dog in danger of being euthanized and let the owner who is allowing the dog to roam off the hook if they never claim their dog. Pat Aussies in Shelters Dakota's Rescue Page

[Doug Kanter]

True, but it achieves the goal, doesn't it? The goal is less dogs roaming the neighborhood. The goal is NOT to put an owner ON the hook, which means nothing but a $25 fine, about the same as a parking ticket. That achieves nothing. Paying money does not make someone more considerate of their neighbors.

[Hound Dog]

What do your next door neighbors do to discourage dogs from using their yards at toilets?

Sounds like your yard has some unusual attraction for dog walkers as well as their animals.

Find out what that attraction is and do away with it, or change it.

[Bob H]

Anyone who intentionally lets their dog crap or pee in someone elses = yard regardless of if they intend to clean it up is an idot with no = repect for other people's property.

Make little "foo-foo" hold it till you're on public property! The = morons that continue to walk their dogs and let them roam and do their = "business" on the lawns and mailbox posts of others are totally = inconsiderate.

I don't let my own dog go in the yard why should I let a strangers?

I don't think any amount of sign writing will get through to these = dim-wit pet owners, that put little "foo-foo's" bladder and desire above = common sense.

B H

: >This time, I thought it might be better to begin more quietly. I need = to : >word a sign perfectly. The target audience is so-called "good dog = owners", : >the ones who clean up after their trash animals. They're the ones who = try : >and convince you that even though it's your property, it's OK for = them to : >stop there. And, I believe that even when the owner picks the stuff = up, the : >scent is still of interest to other dogs. My initial thought (for = small, : >tasteful signs) was simply "No Dogs for ANY Reason. Period." : >

: >Sounds boring, though, so I'm open to suggestions. The message I = really want : >to convey is that the guy at this house may or may not be stable. I = hope I'm : >not, but so far, I am. : >

: >A friend suggested this: "All Dogs Will Be Collected and Eaten" : >

: >Anyway, the best suggestion wins 27 virtual cold beers. :-) : >

:=20 : Why don't you put up a fence? :=20 : It'll save you a lot of trouble and grief in the long run. :=20 : Hal :=20 :

[Doug Kanter]

Actually, there are very few fences in this neighborhood - just a few in the back yards. As far as the "attraction", none is necessary. People stop their dogs randomly at the dog's convenience. You know that.

[Crimson Castle]

I don't advocate harming the dogs but it takes superhuman effort not to get too annoyed after fishing your newspaper with warm dog turd from the front of your yard for the upteenth time.

I mean seriously when you see the dog owner stopping to allow his dog to crap in front of your lawn - right smack in front of your walkspace - it does tend to get a bit annoying.

Sure you can complain but it takes forever for the authorities to take any action on such matters.

[Crimson Castle]

A $25 dollar fine? Over here in Melbourne Australia - the parking ticket fine is closer to $50 or $80.

[Doug Kanter]

Bingo!

The first time I dealt with it, the dog catcher said she had to actually witness the event, or the stray dog before she could even hound the owner. In this case, the dog in question was only roaming around 6:30 AM. Animal control people don't come out at that hour unless they're dealing with a dangerous animal, so I was left to handle the situation myself. Ridiculous. By the way, the town justice finally straightened out the dog catcher, who somehow had gotten a skewed idea of how to do her job.

[Doug Kanter]

No sidewalks, no curbs. If there were, they'd still be my responsibility to maintain.

Yep. Nice shade tree near the edge. Not cutting it down, though. And, within a year, the property will be loaded with flowers, and therefore VERY interesting.

"Embarrass". That proves my point. If the owners are embarrassed, they know they're doing something wrong. We shall see.

[Hound Dog]

No, I do not know that. Dogs will pretty much relieve themselves where ever they have been trained to.

I've taught most of my dogs to go in my own back yard. A few others, when I lived where I did not have a yard, I taught to use the curb.

If the animals are using your yard way more than your neighbors, then something is ATTRACTING their walkers. Perhaps you have a nice shady spot over your front walk where the person likes to stop and relax. Or perhaps there is something interesting for them to see.

Try standing in your front yard when you see them approaching. Your presence may be enough to embarrass them and encourage them to find another area to use. If that fails, ask them nicely to go elsewhere. It is your yard after all.

[Iris Cohen]

Your first task is to contact the dog warden and find out exactly what the law is in that jurisdiction. In most places it is illegal for owners to walk their dogs on your property without your permission. However, if they are walking their dogs on the town right-of-way near the street, it's entirely different. Sign: how about Uncontrolled Attack Owner. Iris, Central NY, Zone 5a, Sunset Zone 40 "If we see light at the end of the tunnel, It's the light of the oncoming train." Robert Lowell (1917-1977)

[Gardñ]

"Doug Kanter" in news:Qj5Wc.1866$mV.1649 @news01.roc.ny:

All Dogs Will Be Collected and Forced to drink beer

[Gardñ]

"Doug Kanter" in news:TC3Xc.3883$ [e-mail]:

yes, and usually the dog has persistnet digestive troubles.

i guess they've spoken to the dog cop about htis already :-)

Animal control people don't come out at that hour

what if you can show the dog cops your video?

Ridiculous. By the way, the town justice

well, there's a job avail that GwB might be able to handle.

[Gardñ]

Reo ( [e-mail]) in news: [e-mail]:

hands? paws!

"Caution: Hungry Taliban members live here."

"Caution: lawn infested with carnivorous plants."

problem: you'd still have to teach the dogs to read.

[Gardñ]

"Doug Kanter" in news:C%aWc.1969$ [e-mail]:

lead.

Please tell me all the possible meanings you see in this:

the Recombinant Punctuation game! "I want to! go out when it's dark and smell! the moonflowers...." "I want to go out! when it's dark... and smell the moonflowers." "I! want to go out when it's dark and smell the moonflowers?"

[Gardñ]

"Crimson Castle" in news:dk8Wc.3322$ [e-mail]:

onto their patio cover roof :-) out of reach from a ladder.

do htey have a swimming pool? pond?

donw the chimney.

a 6 months' collection, super-rehydrated, then impenetrably clusteerd (poured) around their mailbox :-)

shove thru vehicle grill, against the radiotor? pack, pack, embed, embed

I guess you could post a sign outside your lawn stating that you are

namedrop: incurabel canine diseases.

don't forget to include a company name and logo.

either hand scawl the sign with marker, including a supposed cell number and 'amateurish' soudning name such as, bug thugz (seeminlgy written by someone who has suffered much damage to nervous system)

or

ABC-Syntrol-Davidson Hazardous Controls, Inc. - Division of Allied Industrial and Nuclear Test Co.

paint your truck in camouflage. decorate your place with shrunken heads. wiht windows open, loudly play recordings of large exotic predators (pterodactyls, etc).

don't step on the cracks!

[Gardñ]

"Pam - gardengal" in news:I0eWc.296886$a24.77108@attbi_s03:

until the neighbor sues, cuz their kid crashed thier bike into the rose/briar patch.

Certainly a lot

sort of true. but the sign might encourage dog walker to let the poop go on another neighbor's front yard :-)