short and sweet

Good day friends..... Madgardener, aka "Maddie" here. Not melodramatics, no fan fare, no horns or sad sounds. Short and sweet. (for a change) things here in Faerie Holler are going in the direction that I previously talked about. I am facing upheavals and life changing situations that continuously challenge me on a daily basis. I am packing my house into boxes that I have to make sure are not silly things. Packing a house that holds more than 40 years of memories isn't easy. Divorce is not pretty, and when you think you know someone, you might NOT. I WILL lose my home and Faerie Holler. I might lose the only vehicle I have because Squire (aka John, the one day ex-husband when the divorce comes final)decided to not pay the house note or car note, has cut off my health insurance, the house insurance and car insurance (which makes the over due amounts even more threatening and imminent) I am dealing with life on this level. But in the midst of all the turmoil, despite facing literal homelessness, I have the love and support of a person who truly loves and adores me for the awesome woman that I realize I've always been. I'm not perfect, but being happy makes things more tolerable and it just goes to show that if things are right emotionally, the rest try to fall into place. Say a job prayer for us. We've still not landed jobs here in the eastern part of Tennessee. To make enough to pay rent and basic things would seem simple enough. And we're both willing to work. But it's not as easy as it used to be. And we both have incredible qualifications.
We need to find a place to live, and that means I might lose my three dogs that I love dearly (as well as two of the four cats, as my oldest son who lives with me is leaving the sinking ship and will take his cat with him, and dear old Pester's aka "Old Krusty the Kat" will go to my youngest son who now lives with his girlfriend and two children not far from here. To pack my gardening books, my life, and face harsh realities is easy when you have the emotional support of someone who is solid and real and who feels deeply about life with you. Soooo, when son moves out (whenever that happens, and it might be when the mortgage company initiates foreclosure which is just a matter of time) the internet will be shut off again. But I have my yahoo account address, and unless the car financing company repossesses the only transportation I have before I can relocate to a hospitable place where I can catch a bus or walk to work, I will check my e-mail's at the library as I did this summer when the crap was starting to hit the fence.
If I am able, I will dig up bulbs and send them to a few friends in the states as I am able as I dismantle things here. I know I can't take things with me, but there are some things I MUST take. My dragon lilies (now realizing they're 15 year old Regal lilies) are dug up and in a bucket with rich, black soil to protect them as they slumber for Springtime. Beverly's "taters" or Wood's hyacinths that she gifted me a few years ago that are now a memory as she too has lost her home after losing sweet George. I will try to keep "Gardengal" Pam Sinclair's gift of the "Diablo" ninebark if I can. I will dig up the three incredible tree peonies and pot them that Mary Emma had me take of her now destroyed and dismantled gardens. If I can do it, I will cut back and dig up and pot the Deutzia that sweet John Skeffington rooted me a little cutting from his own that despite the harsh drought that we're still in, flourishes. There will be things that I know I can't dig and take. I've dug up bulbs and a few things already, but realistically I realize that it's just being practical and moving on with life. I promise that I will try and come and write and share things of gardening nature. I have a few things to share with you all now as it is.......in digging up the "Dragon lilies" the other day in a moment of garden madness,James came out and found me digging bulbs. We decided to attempt to dig the tuber of the 4 o'clocks that this year flourished incredibly. The magenta tuber I accidentally broke off in digging up the Dragon lily was the size of a football........so we tried to dig up a magenta tuber and a yellow flowered one. they were HUGE. And bent the Fiskar spade in the process. The drought has tightened up the soil to a point where it's like digging up a tree.
I am now looking for bulbs only, and focusing on things I CAN'T replace ever. And I know I can't have regrets, because I have pictures and some of my words. My love is with you all and I promise I will keep in touch and hopefully before Spring, there will be another Faerie Holler wherever it winds up being. Have a good fall and please, keep in touch?
Madgardener, up on the ridge, back in Faerie Holler, overlooking English Mountain in Eastern Tennessee, zone 7, Sunset zone 36 where the drought still prevails
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Holy crow Maddie. You are in some bind. I wish I could come help you out but damned if the Oncologist isn't keeping me busy! I just finished 33 days of radiation and am looking to begin Chemo so travelling is not an option. I can say a prayer things begin to go well for you. You need a Legal Aid Lawyer to go after John for support and insurance. We ain't getting any younger and he should be required to keep you in the manner you were accustomed to. Maybe. Sure worth a look-see. Please don't sit and take what he is dishing out. You are tougher than that. Fight a bit.
Betsy
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betsyb wrote:

love to you, Betsy, heal and survive, please! maddie

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(snip)
Crap Maddie - honestly. Look for a garden, a yard, a porch ... steps ... I don't know - but you just can't leave the dogs. My heart sank. I had started that directory for you with a collection of all your delicious rambles. Yours when you're settled - days go by so fast, I can't beleive wer're in November!! Thinking of you very much and will keep in touch via email, if that's still ok. Good luck. La Puce
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snipped-for-privacy@urbed.coop wrote:

it's day to day. still searching for a decent job, and hunkering down. at least I have the incredible love and moral support of this awesome man who is walking the rough road with me with a clear focus and eye towards just basic things. keep saving and hunting the archives if you don't mind. One day when the dust settles and I am living wherever I am, I will get back to writing seriously and will draw upon you for those precious words. One day I WILL write the books. I see so much around me despite all the turmoil. the drought has a firm grip here, I rejoice at the little birds that gather where the last of the horded suet is in the cages, the last of the seeds that I had stored in buckets. I rejoice and grieve. but life will go on and things eventually will even out and be better. it's much worse for others and I am blessed to have what I have at the moment. all my love to you who are thinking positive things maddie
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I don't often see your posts because they get trashed by some sort of filter on line lengths. I am still not certain about the authenticity of this post but all I can say is that you need to choose your friends very carefully at a vulnerable stage of your life. Ignore the advice and offers of support from strangers, which certainly includes the contributors to this thread. ( me too perhaps). You are attracting the attention of the odd Looney, who thrives on the sort of situation you have described..
Best of Luck
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On 11/1/07 8:46 PM, in article 472a739d@212.67.96.135, "Rupert

I think Maddie knows who to trust.
C
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Rupert (W.Yorkshire) wrote:

length of previous postings. I ramble and wax emotional about the gardens for the last twelve years. The authenticity of the post is who I am. I write what is happening around me and with me and my life. I am brutally honest when some around me can't stand how I am. What I wrote it true. But there are others as I spoke earlier, that have it far worse than I do. Just facing all these things at the age of 54 when I had been married for 29 years and was complacent in a life of no affection and love was too much for me. To give it all up for the real love and affection of someone who had been a friend for over four years seems foolish to some, but it's a rare life moment to grab or die with regrets later on. Yes, I am vulnerable, but more so in regards to just my needs. Which are huge at the moment.....a place that's affordable, a job that pays decent....etc. but I am also cautious. I live in a town where there are no sidewalks, nothing but a flashing traffic light. Jobs here are available, but the minimum wages here are not enough to pay enough to provide housing or even rental. I'd have to work three or four jobs, and the price of gasoline is rising as well. I try and not let all this get to me, it's just overwhelming and I knew I needed to let those who have read my posts and knew of my life here in Tennessee know what was happening in a short way about me. You are sweet to be concerned, and I appreciate it. Hopefully things will eventually break and even out and life will begin again with new things to write and talk gardening about. If I'm attracting the attentions of loonies, well, they're out there anyway, and what more harm to me than is already in motion? just keep a good thought and know that what I write is ALWAYS the truth about things with me (and the gardens). the drought is still in firm place here in Eastern Tennessee where I live and I'm walking through each day with positive thoughts.
my love and kind thoughts to you, '
madgardener up on the ridge, back in Faerie Holler, overlooking English Mountain in Eastern Tennessee, zone 7, Sunset zone 36
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On 2/11/07 17:18, in article snipped-for-privacy@news.supernews.com,
<snip>

Good luck with it all, Maddy. It's a brute to go through but it is a sort of clearing out of the dross in one's life and everyone deserves a few goes at getting it right. ;-) Let us know how you get on - please keep in touch.
--
Sacha
http://www.hillhousenursery.co.uk
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madgardener wrote:
I remember reading some of your posts in the past, and my heart certainly goes out to you. It must be heartbreaking to have to leave behind so much of yourself. If you are anything like me, you grow to love the place, birds, plants, creatures and a few people around you.
To have all that ripped out from under you and be thrust into the position of finding a decent job without knowing what you will have to face has to be scary, even with emotional support from your friends.
At least you found a nice guy, hope it is the real deal, and was really hoping somehow, some way, you could stay where you are.
If that is just not possible, I wish you the best and hope you find a new place even better than what you had.
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Get an attorney, quickly. Ask around, call around, work out a doable fee with a lawyer and get everything that's yours out of that old marriage. Don't be too proud to ask for help and don't believe you need to just pack up and leave what you have (mutually) worked for. He had no right to stop paying the mortgage and the car, so fight! You may be able to save these things, and then some.
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Maddie, I guess I'm the odd loony! But I am still keeping you in my thoughts and prayers! I don't have any good advice for you except when God closes one door he opens another. Just keep your eyes out for the open door!
loony
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Not quite, I have had a time when ALL the doors have been shut, but the bright side of that, is that there is only one thing the doors can do ............ OPEN :-))
Best wishes and the journey is .... UP
Mike
--
www.rneba.org.uk for the latest pictures of the very first reunion and
Inaugural General Meeting. Nothing less than a fantastic success.
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