Ping Gardengal

[Val]

Are you still around? Didn't you, or do you still work at Swanson's?

Val

[madgardener1]

this is the last personal post that Gardengal sent me April 9th. She's struggling to just get by right now as a lot of us are.........I can only hope she won't mind me posting it here since your reply to author was uncertain. If I have overstepped my boundaries or someone elses, just consider it my way of trying to be helpful and move past it.

"I am for all purposes unemployed, dead broke and can't afford my current housing anymore. So I'm moving at the end of this month. I'll be staying with family for awhile......until I can find a decent job and a new place of my own I can afford. This is all pretty short notice and sorting through and cleaning out 25 years of accumulated junk is taking up all my time. And I am leaving all my garden - except for a few choice, small items - behind. I just don't know where I'm going to land and what it will look like to drag a lot of plants with me. We can hopefully both look ahead to better, more secure days and the promise of future plants to come! I'll keep good thoughts for you if you keep good thoughts for me!! All the best, Pam"

Her sweet wishes for me were a given. Of course I think good thoughts about all my wreck gardens friends I've made over the last 14 years. Since this e-mail was at the first of April, and we're now in the first of May, I can only assume that she's now staying with family for the time being, has sorted through her accumulated junk and the tears and pain is soaked in more happy memories and a fresh start, than hurt and anger. She had some hard times a few years ago and dropped out of sight as she started to sort through the chaos of the nursery that she'd worked at successfully for over 15 years (as I remember) and either it's closing or her decision to leave.

She popped back in recently and was just beginning to answer questions and had responded back to me, and a few others when I got word from her that due to the nursery closure, she had taken employment at Macy's and wasn't earning near enough. But her spirits were good. This last post was distressing for me simply because she lives in the Pacific northwest and now that she's moved in with family, and focused on a different job, and adjusting to sharing a home with people after being on her own for so long, and I have no way of just reaching her to console and give her moral support. I sent her a reply after I got this and that was it. No word since then For the time being. I have her old snail mail address and I realize now that I need to drop her a quick line to insure she knows how to reach me the old fashioned way. Lets just keep a good thought out for all of us who are struggling with day to day life in these times of depression and uncertainty.

It's still spring, and I only hope that we can find the magic and wonder of it all right now amidst the confusion of new beginnings and unknown hurdles. I will let you know if I hear back from her. I know she'll do as best as she's capable. Lets all send out some good thoughts. ok?

madgardener,gardening in containers, over in upper northeastern Tennessee sending love to Gardengal and many others who are experiencing the same as too many others right now......zone 7a, Sunset zone 36

[Officer Suchadilbert]

"Privacy and Copyright Issues"

**4. Never quote from a private email without the specific permission of your e-correspondant.

You have been warned before, now you are being issued a Usenet Citation for breaking rule 4.

Please visit

order to view your infraction, review proper netiquette, and pay your fine.

Thank You Officer Suchadilbert Netcop #009

[Val]

Perhaps it would have more prudent to have just asked for a way to contact me privately.

~Pam's email snipped with respect to her personal privacy~

"........chaos of the nursery that she'd worked at successfully for over 15 years (as I remember) and either it's closing or her decision to leave."

That nursery opened in 1927, it's still sucessful and going strong. I have no facts about any of her decisions.

" when I got word from her that due to the nursery closure..."

It isn't closed, I was there yesterday, it's less than 10 minutes from my home.

"This last post was distressing for me simply because she lives in the Pacific northwest......"

Why would the fact she lives in the Pacific Northwest distress you?

"I have her old snail mail address and I realize now that I need to drop her a quick line ...."

Perhaps you should do that. You allude to being a good friend but you post a private email and then use your convoluted conjectures and opinions as her facts all in the spirit of helping her get over and on with it? How could this be helping if you are not in communication with her and/or she's not reading and basking in all your "help".

"I will let you know if I hear back from her....."

No need, I just contacted a former aquaintence of hers at 'the nursery that didn't close' and have the information I was looking for.

I'm sure you are a very nice person Maddy, I've followed your posts for years but TMI on this one. I realize the Maddy fan club will rise up on their hind legs to defend you but a simple...."haven't heard from since April" would have been sufficient. I personally would have been somewhat distress if you'd aired on a newsgroup what I sent to you privately about what appears to be a very difficult and personal matter. I realize you have no problem publishing all the grimy details of your private life but not all are like that. I'd think if Pam was she'd have told one and all in long, rambling missives on the newsgroup instead of few 'trusted friends' in what she thought was private communication.

Nuff said. Val

[brooklyn1]

True, publishing private email is the most egregious act... deserving of relegating to the grave.

[madgardener1]

well, I will apologize for my actions. I never meant harm or person afront. as for the "maddie fan club" I deserve a slap in the face if I've done horribly wrong and I will take my medicine as it's given out. consider me banished. I won't surface again until I have either lost the friendship of Pam or she's forgiven me for this snipped version of her last e-mail to me. as for the distressing news, what that meant was not that I was distressed that she lived in the Pacific northwest, one of my best friends that I've KNOWN since 1978 in Colorado lives in Eugene now. I meant that being in Tennessee and her being somewhere in the Pacific Northwest meant simply huge distances that I couldn't locate her easily.

having said that, and having V and a few others jump on me, I deserve it. I'm going. and I mean it. no song and dance, those who despise me for my naieveness and stupidity will rejoice and dance in the streets. I won't return for awhile, and that is a promise. I keep my word. as for me considering her my friend, that's too assumpitve of me. regardless of her considering me a friend, if she feels I've overstepped, then I can only offer my most sincere apologies to HER. as for offending those of you on the newsgroup, I have screwed up in the past, and it won't be the first or last time. but it will be the last for me for a long time. I love all of my gardening friends, and this is the hardest thing I've had to do since losing my house, eviction, foreclosure and everything rolled up in the last two years including the death of mama, the divorce that released me from my hell and everything else including my trying to heal from the massive loss of all my gardens and thousands of $ worth of perennials both in value and sentimental irreplacablility.

I'm sorry folks, I'm just human and sometimes screw up. what more can I do but just leave?

marilyn the madgardener. in upper northeastern tennessee zone 7a, Sunset zone 36 (and NO, I am NOT looking for pity, sympathy or begs of "don't go" I need to get my affairs in order and write some letters and if I get word I've done wrong I will deal with it. )

[gardengal]

Well.........I'm not sure I know how to respond :-)

To answer your initial question Val, I left Swanson's years ago for a much better position at another nursery. Worked there for a good number of years, then moved to the wholesale end of the business. Have recently gone through a bit of a transition period, but I am back again in the retail end of the business. And I still practice my own business of landscape design and professional horticultural services.

As to Marilyn (maddie) reprinting a personal email, I've known her for many years and know that her heart is in the right place even though she may used poor judgement in revealing what was essentially a very personal conversation. I am a little chagrined that my "business" was aired for the world to see, but can't do anything about that now ;-) I'll just leave it by saying that I was not satisfied with the way my life was going and decided to make some major changes.......all good. I have not been around in the last few weeks because I was busy sorting through and packing up a household of 25 years. I have a new job and a new residence and a new outlook - my life is good and I am moving forward!!

Maddie has indicated in a personal email that she is well aware she overstepped a boundary in repeating a private conversation. Her intentions were good if her method was questionable. I accept her apology. A lesson was learned by all........I will not be so forthcoming about my personal business and Maddie will not be repeating personal communications without authorization :-)

A mistake was made. Forgiveness is a good thing. Let's move on.

[brooklyn1]

Well.........I'm not sure I know how to respond :-)

To answer your initial question Val, I left Swanson's years ago for a much better position at another nursery. Worked there for a good number of years, then moved to the wholesale end of the business. Have recently gone through a bit of a transition period, but I am back again in the retail end of the business. And I still practice my own business of landscape design and professional horticultural services.

As to Marilyn (maddie) reprinting a personal email, I've known her for many years and know that her heart is in the right place even though she may used poor judgement in revealing what was essentially a very personal conversation. I am a little chagrined that my "business" was aired for the world to see, but can't do anything about that now ;-) I'll just leave it by saying that I was not satisfied with the way my life was going and decided to make some major changes.......all good. I have not been around in the last few weeks because I was busy sorting through and packing up a household of 25 years. I have a new job and a new residence and a new outlook - my life is good and I am moving forward!!

Maddie has indicated in a personal email that she is well aware she overstepped a boundary in repeating a private conversation. Her intentions were good if her method was questionable. I accept her apology. A lesson was learned by all........I will not be so forthcoming about my personal business and Maddie will not be repeating personal communications without authorization :-)

A mistake was made. Forgiveness is a good thing. Let's move on.

===========

But you're not moving on, you're still doing it... have you no self control? So stop talking about it... it's just as dispicable to air in public with whom one exchanges email. People who post private email and/or name drop with whom they exchange private email can never be trusted to not forward private email and talk behind folk's backs. I don't know you but I know your type well enough that I'm certain that whatever anyone emails you makes the rounds and with much embellishment... nothing you say is believeable, not a word, and you're not well... if you control your other bodily functions they way you control your loose lips then you walk around 24/7 with shit in your drawers.

[gardengal]

What is truly despicable......other than the fact that you can't spell.....is YOUR need to feel you have the right to chastise anyone not addressing you on this newsgroup about matters which are none of your business and in such a rude and unpleasant manner. My response was NOT to you but to Val, who posted the question initially and to those who jumped on Maddie for an issue she and I have already resolved. Why you have to open YOUR garbage mouth about something which has nothing to do with you is just a symptom of your lack of couth, manners and indicative of no personal life of your own. I do not have to justify myself to you nor does anyone else.

You, sir, are an asshole, as you have demonstrated countless times in the past and continue to do so with every single post. No one here thinks you have anything of value to offer so why don't you just shut the f up?? I'd much rather read Maddie spreading what ever type of personal info about me she felt inclined to than anything you'd bother to write. Which has all proved to be a bunch of crap anyway.

Get a life.

[Billy]

New name, but same ol' Shelly. You don't have to look, Shelly. Can't you control your eyes?

[Billy]

I'll second the motion. All in favor. Aye. Aye. Aye. Aye. Aye. Aye. The ayes have it Shelly, STFU.

[Charlie]

Yeah, but I miss the piss and vinegar from you! ;-)

Charlie

[Charlie]

Let's not move on.

How many time does one get a pass for the same damn mistake?

If you remember, I had this same set-to a while back with her and I would have thought that the memory of that would have been sufficient.

This may be whipping a dead mule, but I had specifically requested, privately, that she *never* mention publically, on usenet or to others, that communication had occured betweenst us. Paraniod maybe, but my request and one I expected to be honored.

First thing I know, Ann R. was questioning her about me (and Ann revealed this publicly on this group), and she responded to her, so Ann and I had a falling out and I let Ann and Maddie know about it. Then my name turns up on her mailing lists to others, multiple times which I ignored, and then I let her know about it privately.

Then she proceeds to post to usenet our problem, and tries to downplay it, and references private conversations and goes all pity party, revealing even more private transactions........not a mistake.

She may have a big heart, but this is no longer Woodstock and peace, love and dope times.

Private is private. And when that is violated, it goes public for the public ass-chewing it deserves. Especially after private warnings to STFU about private stuff.

Charlie