Dangerous plants in my garden

I was on vacation for 3 years and now my garden is full of dangerous plants who probably bite me.
What can I do?
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snipped-for-privacy@yahoo.ca (Adam Ben Nalois) wrote:

Bite you, eh? Ask a dentist to give you steel teeth so you can bite them back!
When I bought this house it was surrounded by lots of weedy briars, & many thorned shrubs & thorned trees. I removed the briars entirely; underlimbed the thorned trees; cut back the thorned bushes, & planted softer shrubs in front of mean ones, while defining "safe" path areas with pavers. I now rarely get bitten by the plants except when it's time to prune a barberry or hawthorn.
There are other things even more dangerous though. I planted lots of different kinds of monkshoods, which, if I ever lose my mind & start gobbling them down, would kill me dead.
-paghat the ratgirl
--
"Of what are you afraid, my child?" inquired the kindly teacher.
"Oh, sir! The flowers, they are wild," replied the timid creature.
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I envy you your monkshoods :) I can't seem to grow them or delphiniums and foxglove
Shell
(Adam Ben Nalois) wrote:

back!
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I'm kind of surprised as I think of monkshoods as good "beginner" plants very forgiving of a wide range of conditions in sundry areas of a garden (much more forgiving than the majority of delphiniums, & don't wear out after a few years like delphiniums). Maybe I'm just lucky to live in the perfect climate for them & they're not so easy everywhere, I dunno. I've planted many kinds of monkshoods, & two in fact have not to date performed much (the yellow monkshood leafed nicely this past year but did not flower; a white one seems to have disappeared entirely & may have been under watered, though I will not disrupt its area next spring in case it makes a reappearance, cuz years ago I had one that I thought died when still a young tender plant, yet it came back the next year & has never again shown signs of unhappiness). If you get three or four varieties to start with, & especially if you get largish well rooted pots instead of veritable seedlings, I bet two or three would do well even if conditions are imperfect for all. Semi-shade or bright shade, & moist soil, ought to be enough, & some care not to dig near their roots when they're dormant & invisible, as they're not plants that suffer being disrupted, dug up, or divided without stress.
-paghat the ratgirl
--
"Of what are you afraid, my child?" inquired the kindly teacher.
"Oh, sir! The flowers, they are wild," replied the timid creature.
  Click to see the full signature.
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You were on "vacation" for three years, you say?
Tell your doctor to change your meds!!!
The ones you are taking now aren't working.
Beware of the flumberberry bush. It can sneak up on you while you sleep and bite you on the giblets!!!

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snipped-for-privacy@yahoo.ca (Adam Ben Nalois) wrote in

The obvious answer is go on another vacation! :-)
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Never fear, Peter's here. We get rid of acres of blackberries buy renting a projectile sprayer and dousing the lot. A few months later when they have all gone brown we torch them to good effect. Works like a charm!
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If you can afford to take a three year vacation then you can afford to hire a gardener. Otherwise, it's time your parents hire a gardener and you get your own place.
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