Building a landing platform for ETs in my garden!

I know they are out there and I want to make the first contact !
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Didn't you know that aliens are so tiny they can't be seen by the naked human eye? They invented nanotechnology when your ancestors were still crawling in a swamp, and applied it to their own genotype. Because modern aliens are very very miniscule, they are cheap to feed and transport through intergalactic universes; and go about their invasive business completely un-noticed by their hosts.
All you need do to attract aliens to land in your garden, is put out a small flat round pebble as a secure landing base. About one inch circumference is ideal. The first time you do this, write "L Z" (for Landing Zone) on the pebble with felt pen, to show them where to go. It's fun to watch that L Z sign fade away with time, worn out with the jets of hundreds of minute spacecraft, and zillions of alien feet rubbing on it as they pass through baggage-reclaim.
Janet.
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contains these words:

Are you talking about Jehovah's Witnesses?
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contains these words:

I find running off Jehovahs a spring and summertime sport. The Jehovas aren't too well informed about their religion (or any religion for that matter) except for the tracts they're trained to parrot by their leaders/trainers. I spent quite a number of years studying the Bible, and if you can side track them from their rote memorizations, they're completely out of their element.
One couple stopped at my place last summer, and I was able to change the topic on a couple of them completely this summer to gardening, and they finally left shaking their head. They even forgot to try to sell me a copy of "Watchtower." You should have seen our neighbor laughing as she listened to me. They didn't even stop to see her. ;-)
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*** OK... they did mention "garden", so I guess it's not off topic :)
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